A
female
age
30-35,
*hata
writes:About a month ago, I told my boyfriend that I was ready to have sex. He told me that if I really thought that I was ready, then we could do it. I said that I was. (We were both virgins.)We had sex for the first time three nights ago. I knew that it would probably be a painful experience for me. We had foreplay and used lube, and it still hurt like hell. Though it was painful, I did not tell him to stop becuase I was sure that the pain would go away eventually. It faded, but it did not go away. He eventually stopped because I was in so much pain even though I didn't tell him to.We did it again tonight. It was our second time, of course. Again, I felt a little bit of pain. Really, it was more discomfort than pain, and it was something that I could handle. I had hoped to feel some kind of pleasure, but it never came. Eventually he had an orgasm and we stopped, of course.I suppose that I go into detail to give a little bit of background. I feel very relaxed when we do it, and so I don't really understand why it is still uncomfortable. There is plenty of foreplay, and the lube works well.Could it just be because it is the first couple of times? I'm hoestly not very worried about it, but I am curious.
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both virgins, foreplay, orgasm Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Chata +, writes (20 January 2009):
Chata is verified as being by the original poster of the question So, we tried again tonight. We waited a week between last time and this time.
When he first put in, it did hurt, and I thought that it was going to be painful again. However, after a few thrusts, there was no pain at all, and it actually felt good. We went at it for a long time, and I was close to an orgasm, and I heard voices downstairs. So we rushed to get our clothes on. It's not that they don't know that we're having sex, it's just that we're not supposed to do it here. XD
He got tired after a while, and we switched to me being on top. Discomfort there. Is that supposed to happen?
Anyway, I am happy that we can both finally enjoy it. =]
A
female
reader, Chata +, writes (18 January 2009):
Chata is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did it for a third time, and it still hurt, but that's okay. I'm staying positive about it. As long as he is satisfied from it, I'm happy.
We decided to wait a little longer between last time and next time to see if that might help. Maybe I just wasn't really allowing myself to heal enough? I don't know. I'll let you know how it goes next time.
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A
female
reader, MrsSkillz +, writes (10 January 2009):
I had the same problem and what i figured it was is that i wanted to have sex so bad all for the wrong reasons so it wasnt a big interest for me. like touch each other for a while first, hump like back in the days when little kids got in trouble (lol). Get your self warmed up physically and mentally.. If you really want to have sex and experience it good, you have to put your mind into it.. Think of non stop pleasure but only for you (but just think it in your head) Even pleasure yourself on your own time, see what it takes for you to give your self an orgasm and how it feels. do it a few times so you can feel what kind of pleasure you want.. imbead it in your head.. the next time you have sex, prepare yourself physically and mentally. Mentally is a big big key!
---Skillz
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 January 2009):
 Satindesire is completely right.
If you both work on getting you off before you actually have sex it will be a lot less painful.(if even painful at all)
For some it can be painful the first few times. It's pretty normal.
Another thing you can do is take a hot bath before and take it slow - let him massage you from head to toe - sort of like pleasuring as many erogenous zones as possible before intercourse.
Don't be shy in showing him how you like your clitoris touched. ( it can be easier with a little lube too, since you don't want to be rubbed raw..)
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (9 January 2009):
it does hurt for the first few times, it;s just your vagina stretching. it probably hurt a little on the second time as it was so close to the first. i remember i was abit sore for a couple of dayes after my first time. it will get better and it will be more comfortable and pleasing.
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A
female
reader, Chata +, writes (9 January 2009):
Chata is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response.
He and I have been progressing sexually for the past year, and we know very many ways to please each other. Even if he has no idea what my clitoris is by name, he does a very good job at stimulating it. In fact, he wanted to bring me to orgasm before our first time, but I had said no because I did not think that it would help. Now that you have told me it has helped you, I will probably try it and see if it works for me.
I want to make this a pleasurable experience for the both of us, and I know that he does to.
Thank you very much for your advice.
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A
female
reader, Chata +, writes (9 January 2009):
Chata is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response.
He and I know very well how to please each other, and though I'm not sure that he has any idea at all what a clitoris is, he does a very good job at stimulating it. In fact, I think he may have wanted to bring me to orgasm before intercourse our first time, but I had said no. I did not believe that it would help. Now that you have said differently, though, I will probably try that.
I want to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for the both of us, and I know that he does, too.
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