A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I went on holiday and then got into an argument by text with a guy I have been seeing for a month. He doesnt want to be exclusive and I was jealous of a girl he has been seeing ~(they are friends too, but occasionally get intimate).He texted me that 'our 'relationship' stops right here.I asked him to forgive me... and a couple of days later tried phoning him... he wouldnt answer. The next day, after I had left about 10 messages, the last one I was very upset... he rang me. He left message saying he didnt like my texts, messages and as much as he did like me, he didnt like the sort of person I was turning into.i.e. possessive and jealous.I called him back and begged him to give me one more chance... he said call him when I am back off holiday a week later.I am now back and not sure what the outcome of the phone call will be.Does anyone have any6 advice on this... or should I wait and see if he will make contact. (I am hopeless at waiting though)...
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Wait for what... damn it girl, your sexy as you feel.. go and get dressed up and strut your stuff.. waiting around on a guy makes you feel sad and ugly....
21st century honeypie, we can do what the boys can.. go out there and mingle and find a better someone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): if hes mad at u u should let him cool down befor leavin like 20 messages cuz that will make u seem desprit and needy and guys dont like that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replies... yes Mialamine, this was the text that he really didnt like... when I said he owed it to me to tell me who he was sleeping with... and that he might be passing on an STD. He said I really didnt know him....
I'm not sure if he is telling me that he is sleeping with other women... or that he still wants to date others... but I guess in either case that means me waiting til he finds someone 'better'.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (22 August 2010):
Wait for what? Wait to be just another girl he is screwing.. Beg him for what? Sex, that he can get from you and he can get from anyone...
Girl don't you have any self respect? Why are you apologising and begging a man to use you? Doesn't it bother you to share a man with someone else? Doesn't it bother you to know that what he does with you, he probably goes and does with her the next day?
Hope your using condoms, a man who sleeps with different women will probably give you a sexual disease.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): I think you should erase him completely from your life. And then assemble a list of what a committed and devoted man doesand then only settle for that later.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 August 2010):
 I don't think he is telling you he doesn't want exclusivity because he wants to date you as well as other people, I think he told you because he isn't that into you and was looking for a way to break things off with you. If he is already intimate with someone else then he doesn't sound like the man for you...unless your into threesomes!!
Sadly you've reacted the way a lot of women would by becoming a 'text maniac' (sorry) and practically begging him. You also took on all the blame when there was nothing for you to blame yourself for...it's not your fault he wants to be casual with other women but you have to draw the line and decide if this is a situation you really want and need?...it's probably not. By your actions you've given him even more weight to call things a day...in short you made it easier for him. He's already told you the relationship was stopping!!
Don't break your heart!...it's been an intense month I am sure but a month long liason is much easier to get over than a long dragged out begging relationship which will ultimately lead to you getting used or really emotionally hurt.
Be the better person, don't call him, walk away and find someone else.
If he wants you he knows where you are, but don't call him and make things worse.
Best of luck
AE x
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 I think you should back off and wait to see if he contacts you. As much as you want to "work things out and get a 2nd chance" ask yourself what you really want. It is ok if you want an exculusive relationship if that is what you want. However, if it is then clearly this man is not right for you.
Also, any guy I've had this discussion with who didn't want an exclusive relationship had the decency to understand my position and to talk things out with me and not shut me out like the guy did to you. However, I think you did freak out a bit by calling and leaving so many messages. I am sure it put him off on you. You probably seemed controlling, jealous and a bit mad.
I know you hate waiting but seriously, get a grip and sit this one out and if he doesn't ever call you back then why on earth would you want to be with a man who doesn't want to be with you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Well you know he doesn't want anything serious, right? Are you prepared to let him sleep with other girls as well as you? Doesn't sound like you're ok with that, this whole FWB thing is such a bad idea. One person always ends up getting hurt. Your best bet would be to move on and find someone who wants to be with you and only you. Pretending you're ok with it just being like it was before and hoping he'll suddenly want a serious, exclusive relationship with you isn't going to happen.
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