A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on a dating website and we have been dating for 2 months. We speak to each other everyday and say goodnight before bed. We sleep at each other's houses and have sex twice a week. He seems very loyal and committed in his actions and has expressed a lot of interest in me verbally and through his actions. We know that neither of us are dating anyone else be ase we are in such regular contact. He has not yet told me that he loves me. I am wondering if he is now my boyfriend. It seems like an elephant in the room for me. I don't want to seem needy, but need some reassurance that he is in a relationship with me. I am 38 and he is 41 and i don't know what dating rules apply at our age! Pls help :-) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): I think that yes he does consider you his girlfriend. But you should still verify this by bringing up the subject.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 April 2013):
 I agree with SVC -- Tisha's question is a very valid one.
AuntyEm's post is very good too, and I agree with it with the exception that for me, becoming sexual with someone does make the question of exclusivity a valid one now, even at two months. Personally, I wouldn't have gotten physical this soon in a relationship, but since it's done and you both are into each other, it's fair to clarify exclusivity.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 April 2013):
 I like YouWish's idea too.
But I think Tisha's question is important too.
other than daily contact and twice weekly sex what other things do you two do together.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (1 April 2013):
 If you are still seeing the guy in 6 months then it's probably fair to call him boyfriend. Two months is not long enough to know if someone is right for you or even if they will stay. People tend to show their true colours at around the three month mark, since it's almost impossible to keep up any pretence for this long.
Things seem to be going well so just relax and enjoy what you have, trying to add lables at this time might be a bit much, you still have time for things to go the relationship route naturally.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): No, it doesn't mean he is your boyfriend till he tells you so, or asks you to be his girlfriend.
I have always said "I don't sleep with someone I am not exclusive with", then I know and they know too. It doesn't mean they have to commit to me for any amount of TIME, but it means I know they are NOT sleeping with anyone else while they are with me. I once 'assumed' we were exclusive till six months down the track I checked it out...and found out we were not. So now, I always make sure I KNOW exactly.... with words not assumptions. I suggest you just ask..."We are exclusive aren't we?" If he says yes...then you know, if he says no... then you know. exclusive doesn't mean a relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): Tisha_1, I wrote the question and yes he takes me out to restaurants, films etc and bought me perfume for my birthday. I am feeling insecure and not sure why. I guess it is just that I need some security, not about him having done anything wrong. Falling in love and the fear of loss is terrifying..
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Do you go out on dates, like having dinner, then seeing a film or other outings? Or is this more a physical relationship, sleeping over and having sex?
I like YouWish's answer.
"Hey, I want to introduce you to some of my friends, and am wondering… do I call you 'boyfriend'? I'd like to."
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 April 2013):
Two months is a new relationship, and it's healthy that the Love word hasn't come out yet. However, if you've become sexually active, it's not needy to simply ask "just to clear something up. I've really liked being with you these past two months. Does this make us exclusive, because the next time I introduce you to someone I know, I wouldn't mind calling you my boyfriend. What do you think?"
Not needy, not requesting he say "I love you" before he's ready, and if you're sexually active, it's more than reasonable to want to be sexual only when exclusive.
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