A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have been going out for 3 years. I had to move away for school for the past year and weve seen each other every 2 weeks or so and i have made the effort as much as possible to see her. I am about to move home in a couple months and have realized that since i've been gone she may have a drinking problem (which she would never admit). It just started as her wanting to do a little predrink before going to the bars because she didn't have a lot of money to spend on expensive drinks, but lately shes been 'predrinking' half a 2/6 of alcohol by herself before she'll come and meet me. It's really hurting our relationship because i'm not a huge drinker and only do so socially and i hate being around drunk people especially if i'm not drunk. She says she's depressed and is on pills for that so i don't exactly want to just start attacking her calling her an alcoholic... but this is getting intense. What can i do to make her stop or get her help???Confused in alabama
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 Hi
Good luck with that! I was with someone that drank a fair bit. But like you say, its not like they are full on alcoholics. He would drink every night but not until he finished work, and sometimes only a few pints but it was still essential every day for him.
He does it even more since we split 3 months ago, is actually in a pub drinking every night now.
If she is on anti d's surely she shouldnt be drinking anyway?
Thats what i thought anyway. He was on valium for a few weeks and carried on drinking, i tried telling him they wont work with booze but he wouldnt have it and when they didnt seem to work he stopped them, rather than stop the booze, which would possibly mean the anti d's would have an effect! grrrrrrrrrr drove me mad in the end. Im not a big drinker like you.
I ended it and that was just one of the reasons. I dont want to be with a drinker/pub person.
But you really cant get someone to stop or get help. They think they are immortal and it wont effect their health.
You might have to learn to live with it, or leave.
You never know, when you move back she might snap out of it.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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