A
male
age
30-35,
*ovingnerd
writes:I'm 21 year old computers student. i've been in a pretty serious relationship for ever four years now. things were so serious that our parents knew each other, and although they didn't talk to us, they know that we both are going to marry some day.of lately during my final grad year, things weren't going so well, and there were just too many disputes.the issue from my side is, that she's very, overly possessive. even mentioning a girl friend's name she'd quit talking for hours together if not days! due to which i pretty much get pissed off, and at times, have raised my voice a bit,. to high! :(and now, just a few months back, she said she can't take it any more! she's not doing well healthwise, and that she can't tolerate or rather bean the fights again. i tried convincing that i can and will change,.. but she says she just wants to be friends with me.bt again, she won't leave me all alone. she keeps texting, talking, mailing and calling me with the cute names the way she used to!i am now confused! i am willing to let her go if its going bad at her health! but then, if she really wants to let me go, why does she keep coming back the way she does, and still not admit (this is what i feel, please do correct me)in serious need of help n counselling! :)Thanks!
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male
reader, lovingnerd +, writes (10 September 2011):
lovingnerd is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot dear Agony Aunt! :)Excuse me for my late reply, but i was trying out executing the things you mentioned.I believe she's pretty much done with me. I have stopped texting. So has she. No Mails, no calls, no communication at all.I believe she's done. And so i seriously wish to let her go. I wish I could get a chance to change, but she wouldn't give me one. So I give up.Let me know if i'm going wrong.Thanks! :)
A
female
reader, babylav +, writes (4 September 2011):
okay!i'l tell you what some girls have a TWISTED BRAIN !!the good news here is she loves you..and in her mind she has it for taken that you won't leave her.has the problem just been that she doesn't like you talking about other girls?i had the same problem and my boyfriend thinks i'm over-posessive..he has told me many times too.The fact is she is NOT possessive of you or insecure or its not that she wants you to talk only to her.thats what YOU think!!the fact is :1)she loves you = she gets hurt listening to you appreciating or talking interestedly about other girls...this feeling will always be there for a girl unless u are going out with someone who doesn't love you and doesn't care much at all ..trust me i'm a girl and i know the two types that exist ,the loving one ..who will be like your gf and the bitchy ones who dont care because they don't love their guys!you are lucky2)as for her behavior ,well il tell you straight away:she wants to make you realise that you miss her and she probably expects you to go back to her ..she doesn't seem to be a person with high self esteem and maybe feels that she isn't enough for you and you might like and admire other girls' beauty,confidance ,attitude or intelligence ..whatever more than hers!imagine for 4 years she's been living with these in her mind so its about time you talk to her tell her that she is the one you love and no one else can attract you more than her nomatter how great they are she is the greatest for you..make her understand ..ask her : can you love some one else's mother more than yours?might sound cheesy but its true.right?i'm sure the problem is not just mentioning a girls name ...you must have mentioned in such a way that she thinks that you like that other girl,make her understand that u'll never ger bored of her or something and as the years go by u'll love her more ..let her know that you love her like she loves you!let go of your exaggeration that she is posessive or doesn't trust you3)i dont know what health problem..but if its major ,or something that is affecting her life a lot ,then discuss with her and show that you are concerned about it.take intrest in her problems rather than worrying about how the relationship will affect her health..its not the relationship ,its your behavior .change it ..show interest in her health maybe thats the root cause for all her negative feelings.Be a supportive bf ..don't just be so disconected and distant from her inner problems,you can't let her o because clearly letting her go will worsen her health .she is just doing a little bit of drama to get your love.so do the needful...show her that love which she expects and theen make her understand that she means the most to you and tell her that its about time she trusts you blindly..if one keeps thinking that the other has a tendency to cheat its very dangerous for the relationship... all the best!
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