A
female
age
36-40,
*nluckyinlife
writes:i could really do with some help or advice....i'll try and cut this long story short and get to the point. basically last week i found out that my mother is in the early stages of alzheimers disease. im absolutely devastated and cant come to terms with it all. to make things worse i have quite a rocky relationship with my boyfriend. we have argueing a lot latley, mostly over silly things and have actually only been in our new home for a month. the day i found out about my mum he didnt show me any support what so ever. he was more concerned about an argument we'd had the day before. this upset me even more. he was going on and on at me, then later that even he was shouting at me over the phone-it just made me feel 10 times worse. all i had in my head was how i wanted to come home and be with my mum.i finished it because i couldnt believe how he was making me feel but when i saw how upset he was i decided to give myself time to clear my head before making any decisions.this was all fine until yesterday we had a major row, in fact he shouted at me so agressivily i was scared. he then finished it.would you say it is best just to end things completely? ive been feeling like i want to move back home to support my mum through this horrible disease. as much as i do love my boyfriend im not sure i can cope with a rocky relationship. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): I dont see why you didnt dump this dump truck along time ago you should go support your mom just think of it this way your mom gave birth to you...
=) good luck
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 April 2008):
 Hi, sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. Very upsetting, I hope she's getting the best care she can.
You're going to be put into the position of learning a lot about this disease and its effects in the future. There is a lot of stress and strain on the family to say the least.
Your boyfriend might be so selfish that he can't understand what you're about to face or it could be that he hasn't actually taken on board what you've told him. You're going to need to make sure that you are strong and supported over the next few months and years, so maybe it's a good idea to have an air-clearing talk with him.
I don't know what the row was about, but if it's something that can easily be dealt with, do it now. If it is something that is an ongoing problem with you two, maybe you need to decide if you have the strength to deal with both your mum's diagnosis and resolving the conflict with him.
If I were you, I would be lining up all the support from family and friends that I could find. Let people who love you know about what your mum is facing and that you might need to call on them for support and help in the future. Get yourself lots of help.
It's also really good to educate yourself as best you can about the disease. I'm sure that your mum's doctors can give you some information, but also you can look online at places like webmd.com...
I don't know what's in his head or what he's going through, or what your past with him is, but I think that having two big worries is probably a bit too much to take at the moment, until you figure out where your mum is and what kind of support she'll need.
Don't be distracted by silly little arguments over nothing; however, if there are really big issues needing some resolution, then maybe it's best to just get them over with so you can move on and get yourself in the best situation so that you can support your mum as she faces this.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (19 April 2008):
 Well you are under a lot of stress right now and you are probably very sensitive. Your b/f needs to support you though as this is your mum and of course you want to be with her. Sit your b/f down and explain everything and how you feel, make him understand that you need his support and to stop focusing on rows you have had, if you have just started living together that can bring stress as you get used to each other and each others ways also sometimes there is the financial strain that can also affect you. If he can't be there when you need him most then maybe he is not the man for you.
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A
female
reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (19 April 2008):
 I know what your going through with the alzheimers disease problems. My nanna had it and my mum thinks my dad may be in the early stages of it too... I know im young and stuff, but i personally would end it with this guy, he isnt surpporting you or being at all sympthic..I hope this helps even in the slightest bit=]From tasha xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): was this relationship brilliant before if so then don't break up with him take him to the side and tell him what you feel he'll change if he loves you and if he doesn't then he really isn't worth it. hope this helps
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