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The context of an "ask out"...

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Question - (25 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

This one is for guys...

Let's say that you are asked out by an attractive woman whom formally worked under you. You are both single to your knowledge. She sends you a casual email asking you out to a drink. How would you feel, would you think her intentions are platonic/work-related or would you think that it was a date?

Also, if you were attracted to her, what is the longest delay you would put on actually getting together for a drink? A couple of weeks if you were busy, or a month if you were extremely busy?

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A male reader, Anonymousmale1 United States +, writes (25 January 2010):

Anonymousmale1 agony auntIt would not be wise for a person in his position to accept an invitation for a drink with a female that works under him, single or not.

If it were I that received such a e-mail I would summon the female to my office and explain to her that it's simply not professional to fratinize with someone whom works for me. I would explain that I was flattered with the offer and in a different circumstance I would gladly accept, however because of the position I hold I would have to gretfully decline.

In this era of office gossip and inmaturity for any type of situation that allows for co-workers to talk and whisper could seriously damage his ability to supervise the people that he is in charge of.

Situation such as these even when they are done secretly have a way of being blown out of proportion and the results could be devestating to his and even your career.

With that said, if you're both interested and single in order to possibly make a go at this, you may consider requesting a transfer so that he's no longer above you.

This relieves possible repercussions from you both.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (25 January 2010):

LazyGuy agony auntAn email? I would think it was something semi-serious. Maybe you want to talk to me about work away from preying eyes.

After all, would you think a guy was romantically interested if he used email instead of talking to you when you see each other every working day?

As for the delay, same week at least. How busy can you be for a drink?

If he waiting as long as you say, then he ain't interested or has lousy dating skills. Again, how would you react yourself to such an invite?

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