A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:A new guy started at my work and we've known each other for a short while now, when we first met we got on like most strangers who meet for the first time. Then one day we were both were working late and got into conversation, that we could of just kept talking, it was comfortable. Come the following day I saw him and I suddenly felt happy to see him and this attraction which caught me off guard. It’s gone onto feel like a strong attraction as well, that it concerns me because I don't know how it happened, it sprung out of nowhere and won’t just go away. Part of me believes that because i’ve been single for a while and due to the lockdown, that this is why I’ve developed that attraction. This is what concerns me more than the other part, is I worry that this is not a genuine interest, but rather missing a relationship/having a guys interest, that those feelings have been placed on him, which seems unfair on him, as I think he might be interested also. I’ve tried to ignore it and convince myself of the above, but I can’t ignore that I look at him differently, find myself thinking about him and looking forward to seeing him.It also bugs me that to me he is a good looking man, but not, I cannot figure out if I find him good looking and how is that possible someone can be good looking and not.. I know looks are not the be all and end all here, what I am saying is how can you look at someone both ways?I know that he is a decent guy, who I do think has a lot to offer and will treat me very well, so part of me wants to explore the attraction and the other part wants to get my mind around it and just see him as I did before, someone who could be great company and a good friend.Any advice here, on why you think I feel this way/what you’d suggest I do would be appreciated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (31 October 2021):
 Remember this, don't crap where you eat. It's always good advice.
This means don't DATE in your workplace.
If it doesn't work out it's going to be awkward.
Why you feel attracted is something only you can know and we can guess about. I'm guessing it's nice to have attention, decent conversation from a man who is somewhat attractive. Who wouldn't?!
Doesn't mean you KNOW him or that this has to go anywhere.
If I were you I'd stick to being professional and just enjoy the fun interactions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2021): "Part of me believes that because i’ve been single for a while and due to the lockdown, that this is why I’ve developed that attraction."
I would think this assumption maybe the primary reason; and the other probability comes from your youthful-enthusiasm. In our 20's, when it comes to romantic-prospects, we don't always see the whole picture. Rather we see the most expedient and useful side of things; especially, when it comes to getting something we want. On the other-hand; we hate stopping to consider some of the cautionary-details that could be more significant than we want them to be; because they would literally slow our roll, or be a killjoy. There's not much room for mistakes, when your job is the setting.
First and foremost, you both were hired for your specific job-skills and qualifications. Mixing business with pleasure/romance will take focus away from why you've both been employed. You see a convenient opportunity; because there's a guy in close-proximity that practically fell into your lap. You didn't have to go online, or rely on chance. I call it fishing in a barrel. Some call it a bird in hand. If it's on your job, it spells possible trouble or drama.
I think you have insufficient data; and you're intrigued by his looks, giving-over to making a snap-judgement. Concluding he's a decent guy when you've only recently become acquainted. He's not going to show all of who he is privately; because the situation and his work-environment doesn't call for it.
It's safe to believe he's pleasant, and nice to talk to; but that doesn't mean he's datable or available. It complicates things when you use your workplace as your dating pool. When things go south, it drags your personal-life into the workplace; where it doesn't belong.
Let it suffice that he's nice to chat with, he seems to be a pleasant person; and keep things cordially-professional. Besides, you've got mixed-feelings; and you're not even sure of what they are, or where they're coming from. Err on the side of caution. It's your job!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2021): You're attracted to him and maybe he's attracted to you. You don't have to overthink this. It's just an attraction. It has nothing to do with lockdown. I'm sure you felt attracted to certain people before lockdown didn't you?
It's what makes the world go round and it's something that can happen between two people. End of.
I would be wary about thinking you know him already though. People can surprise you! Be wary of continuing with this attraction at work too. Your work environment could be made very uncomfortable if you both pursue this and it doesn't work out. Your bosses may well frown on this too.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (31 October 2021):
 You've only known this guy a short while, shared one proper conversation with him, but you "know" he is a decent guy who will treat you well? How can you possibly know that from a short acquaintance and one conversation? You only know what he wants you to know about him.
Starting a romance at work is NEVER a good idea. How will you feel if the relationship ends on a bad note and you have to face him every day at work?
Think long and hard before you decide whether you want to have any sort of relationship with him (or any colleague, for that matter). I have seen too many workplace relationships end badly, causing one of the parties involved to have to find a new job. As you seem in two minds about him, I would steer clear and concentrate on work while you are at work.
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