A
female
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*ERENE
writes:Hi there, I have recently broke off an affair, and the guy that I have been involved with has intially agreed to return the cash he owes me. Now that the time has come to pay me, he has changed his mind. I find this very annoying and made no bones abt it. I have been sending him nasty emails and SMS's. He did phone me on Friday and blew his top off. He told me in no uncertain terms, that I should deduct money off for services rendered. I told him I cannot do that, because he is impotent and if he had to buy medication to get it up thats his problem. He has threatened to go to my husband. Should I just let it go, or insist on the money. I am very angry, what do you suggest I do ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): let me get this straight. you had an affair on your husband and your more concerned about getting your money back from your ''bit on the side''?
i think you biggest question should be ''where have my morals gone as i obviously dont care at all about my husband, the man i swore my life to ? ''
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): You had an affair and loaned out money. I would be more afraid of the husband finding out and keeping quiet to the money owed. You have to take it as a lesson learned. You have had your fingers burnt now move on. Stop the nastiness, that won't get you anywhere and could end up with your husband finding out and you being on your own.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, SexKitten69  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Hi, it sounds like trying to get blood from a stone, haha.
No seriously, stop being nasty with him because the more you push the more it will wind him up.
Ask him that if it was you who owed him money surely he would be chasing up the situation and that he is being a little unreasonable.
You can either try to get back the money or take it as a leessn learnt (Don't lend anyone money!).
Taking it as a lesson learnt will at least allow you to get on with your life, especially if it's only a small amount.
Regards
xxx
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Not being cynical but are you afraid of your husband finding out the affair or are you more interested in getting back the money?! Its sad that your relationship with your husband had to come to this (although you showed no remorse about this in your post) but hey, its your life. Now to answer your question, I would suggest you let the money go if you dont want to risk your husband knowing (and also if its not that huge of a sum of money). Im not sure if I got the post right, but it seems to me that you paid this guy for sex (gigolo, toy boy, rent boy, etc??), and youve deducted money for him to get viagra? If so, I dont think the price of viagra (or any other erection medication) is worth getting over a dispute over, although I understand theres a principle behind it. But you know wot, I reckon you blew the idea of the word principle when you started cheating on your husband and having trasactions with this new guy. Not being funny, but its weird how karma always has a way with things. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (28 November 2006):
 It depends how much money you lent him. If it's relatively not a large amount then maybe you should let it go. For the sake of your marrige. Just incase he decides to go tell your husband. There's not a lot you can do really. You've tried threatening him and intimidating him with the emails etc. It doesn't seem to be working. Have you tried blackmail?
If that doesn't work either then you should just forget about it and forget about him and focus on your marrige. Work hard at your marrige and make sure that you all the reasons to why you cheated on your husband have been eliminated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): Firstly you are married, so really you shouldn't have been having an affair with him. He possibly has taken advantage of your situation and maybe his actions were intentional, basically he conned you into a relationship with an alterior motive of getting money from you and now has the perfect blackmail scenario (threatening to tell your husband)so he doesn't have to pay you back. Anyway, you have two options here, if it was a large sum of money and you really need it, then you should think about telling your husband and take this loser to court. However, this could have a terrible affect on your marriage. Secondly, you could just forget all about him, put it down to experience and don't don't lend anyone money again. What a scumbag he is.
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