A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I go to a top British university where there are quite a lot of upper/middle-class white people from the South. Obviously, I don't have a problem with this. I'm half Asian, however, and because of this I don't look like I'm from any particular minority often born in the UK (e.g. I don't look clearly BBC or like a Pakistani girl born in the UK). People have often asked if I'm everything from Brazilian to Spanish upon meeting me. However, I've lived in England all my life, dress perfectly normally and consider myself British. I am sick and tired of the casual racism I face on a day-to-day basis at uni.I've been at uni for three years (I'm doing a long course) and the amount of casual racism I face here (compared to in my home city where ethnic minorities are very common) is absolutely disgusting. I have a lot of international friends as well and they often encounter it too, and though they don't seem to pick up on it it's definitely there. I hate to say it, but it's often usually the stereotypical middle-class white British people who act like that as well.As the course I'm doing is quite small I don't have many coursemates and I sometimes sit in the computer room on my own between lectures. At least five times in the last semester (when I've been really busy and in there quite a lot) people have passed me and been like "That Asian girl is so weird" or "That girl looks so tired." "Which one?" "Oh... the Asian one." It's absolutely ridiculous. Obviously I appreciate that it's not just white people who are racist but in my case it's always been them. Once I just sat down and started working in the same row as one of the girls whom I'd heard making a comment like that, and she started huffing for ages and glaring in my direction. I did so back but it was just stupid. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the way I was acting, it was clearly just because I was "Asian". I often walk through the library past groups of white blonde girls and get dirty looks.I'm not considered "weird" in any other sense (I have plenty of friends, I dress and act normally like I said, I speak like a normal British person and so on). I feel like people continually ostracise me and put me down just for the fact that I look different. We have something called a "Spotted" Facebook page where you can send in stuff about people you see around uni and this gets posted anonymously. Usually this is just people trying to hit on each other, but a lot of the time people will send in ridiculous things like "To the Chinese person sitting in the cafe... oh wait, that's all of them" or "To the people (no need to mention of what nationality) who always sound like a flock of birds in the library ground floor" and then people will make casually racist comments.Why on earth are some white British people (usually southern and affluent ones, though I'm not trying to generalise here) so obnoxious, stuck-up and casually racist? Why do they see Asian people as inferior? How do I deal with people like that when I see them?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2013): OP it works both ways. Its hardly just white, middle class southerners that are racist!
I've lived in Birmingham, UK, for 30 years and its an area that's predominently populated by people of Black and Asian heritage.
So many times over the years i've been the victim of racism (im white) - both casual and frighteningly personal. Ive been beaten up and called a "white" such and such by my attackers, Ive had a car full of Asian lads pull up along side me in the street and shout racist abuse...!
To claim that its "usually" white middle class people who are racist is ridiculous.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2013): My post has not been printed for some unknown reason, so my feelings were not validated, and I will say again, there are double standards going on here. I am one of 'those' QUOTE: 'white Blond people' the original post makes casual comments/ remarks about ' white blond people and thinks nothing of it and complains about racist casual comments that she is actually guilty of herself. How is it, that this point is not acceptable to print? I simply point out that I too could feel offended just as much as the OP by her casual comments in the post that could be classed also as racist/stereo comments? DOUBLE STANDARDS.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): I'm Black British and I too attended a top university here where I was the only black person on my course. So to some extent, I understand where you are coming from.Unlike the other readers, I'd like to validate your feelings by acknowledging that racism can indeed be more subtle and more nuanced than just the actual words used. To dismiss your experiences as you just being over sensitive makes it ok for people to use arbitrary aspects of your person to belittle you. Using race / physical features / nationality to *describe* someone is absolutely fine. But it is not ok to load the description with a derogatory tone and with negative connotations / stereotypes which I suppose is what you are alluding to. Consequently I do condemn what you've experienced.How to deal with it?You could either politely correct someone if they've made an incorrect assumption about you if you feel particularly slighted. You don't have to make a big fuss about it, it can be as simple as telling them your name next time someone describes you as the Asian.Or, you could blissfully ignore it and focus on being the best you can be. I've only been affected by a handful of racist comments in my lifetime because I choose to focus on enjoying my life and surrounding myself with people who appreciate me as an equal. There will unfortunately be people who are horrible to you on account of race / height / socio-economic background / personality etc, but just don't give them the light of day. Become selectively deaf, don't get emotionally charged, and don't let them be a negative influence in your life. When you do have group work to do then act with integrity and respect and let your personality shine through - teach them how to love. Sometimes people who've never met someone who looks like you only know you as a statistic. So when they talk to you and get to know your character there'll be a paradigm shift and they'll realise that we're all the same underneath it all. If they don't want their eyes opened then pity them, their lives are not as emotionally rich as yours as you open yourself up to people from all walks of life.Make the most of extracurricular activities to enrich your uni experience and to make friends.Lastly, don't let your negative experiences with a few individuals colour your perception of any group of people. There are bigots and snobs in every community.Lots of love hun, stay strong and make your own happiness xxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 May 2013):
 I asked a friend about it after MsSadie's post...
and I am sensing that we all bring our own baggage and experience to the table with this. I can't see how my reply (based on my feelings, experiences and interpretation) is incorrect and yet my very dear friend who has her own very different experiences and interpretations thinks I am far off the mark.
Since I do not know what the OP has experienced in terms of discrimination other than what she has written, I could only go by what was posted. Sadly, if she has experienced her whole life being treated differently or questioned or picked on due to her being Asian then she brings a lot more heated feelings to the table about the words "the Asian girl" as a descriptor vs an insult.
I sense that there is more involved that has occurred in the past that we are not getting that is coloring what the OP feels.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): You just wrote a casually racist question complaining about casual racism. Well done on your hypocrisy!
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (13 May 2013):
 I understand where you're coming from.As a young, black female in the United States who happens to come from an upper-class family, I've had to put up with my fair share of prejudices and ignorance. Much like you, it tends to be more casual (like well-meaning white people greeting me with "haaaay, guurrrrlll!" despite the fact that I don't talk like that and never have) or it's cringe-worthy sweeping generalizations about people who share my skin tone.I can't disagree more with So Very Confused. I don't think what you've said is racist at all. What you've written sounds like the frustrations of someone who is tired of being picked out and needlessly classified as an "other" and a "minority" by society.Sadly there isn't much that you can do except roll with the punches and hold your head high. Keep being who you are and strive for the best. Give them a reason to have to reconsider their learned prejudices and stereotypes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Take a rethink on what you are accusing people of,
You state ''Why on earth are some white British people' bla bla. Is this not the same type of talk that you are complaining about. Only difference is their described as British...you describe them as racist comments. Think about it it is simply a description, you SAY BRITISH but they are not allowed to say ASIAN. Would you feel that it is racist to describe you as British? You are looking for racist comments and nit picking about comments that are NOT racist and can get innocent people into a lot of trouble.
'' White blond girls'' this sounds a bit racist to me, see if we look for injury in words we can often find it.
Would you not be better concentrating on your studies and try and make friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you, because I'm really not intending to, but are you perhaps taking this far too personally? The terms you have described don't sound derogatory, just descriptive. Perhaps not the most PC of terms to use, but to use the word Asian when describing an Asian person is not being derogatory. Perhaps those girls give you "dirty" looks because you group them all together. You admitted that you sneered back at the girl, but perhaps they were doing that to provoke attention and you've lowered yourself to a petty childish level. Perhaps people refer to you as "weird" not because of your ethnicity, but because you sit alone, and isolate yourself. It is not the typical "norm". I'm not saying people are right to comment at all, but I don't think it is racism. The best way to deal with a problem is to address the people who you feel are causing it/ If you think they are acting in a racist manner, why not address that behaviour? They may not even be aware of it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 May 2013):
I'm wondering if you are overly sensitive to this as what you are describing to me does not sound racist.
In fact, the one who sounds racist is you. You define them as "usually southern and affluent" and defend this as NOT trying to generalize.
IF three women are sitting in a place and two are not Asian and one is and they want to describe the one that is Asian what other term would you like?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Casual racism is easy, it is so easy you yourself do it several times. Oh you try the "I am not a racist but have you ever noticed how ALL of THEM" bit, which is the hallmark of a casual racist.
The reason it is so easy to be a casual racists is because there is always a kernel of truth in it. You will yourself be trying to defend yourself against the first paragraph by saying something like "but a lot of white people are racists" or even "a majority".
In Amsterdam there are racial tensions as well, especially in the night life where some places have put up policies of not allowing some kinds of people inside.
One sign doesn't get criticism. "No brits". Amsterdam attracts to many hooligan types who come over here to get drunk and high and cause a mess.
And if you think, yeah those white brits are like that... RACIST! But true... that is the problem, there is always a kernel of truth in casual racism.
While I don't know the exact dynamics of UK society, I think I can assume that "paki's" have the same repution as "morrocans" have over here. Not a good one.
And people ask if your south-american instead. Which is a compliment since they see your darker skin, don't associate you with the bad kind of dark skin and instead upgrade you to a higher rated group of people.
And boy is that fucking racists... but do you do the same? Consider your own opinion of different religions/races etc etc. I bet if you are honest, there are some opinions/judgements of individuals that are racist fueled.
People ain't naturally nice, you have to work at it and you can't force other people to be nice.
In times of economic downturns, racism gets worse as people feel less tolerant of "them" when there is less to go around. See the UK election results.
And throwing a hissy fit doesn't help. Remember the video showing pakistani's attacking the UKIP leader. Who do you think came out the winner from the altercation?
Don't become a casual racist yourself and show by who you are that YOU are a person and not a race.
But don't expect the world to change, it hasn't in thousands of years. All you can work for is it not to become worse. Because it has been far far worse not all the long ago. Still is not all that far away.
If the EU continues to slip, we may come to remember these moments of casual racism as the good old days.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Some people always need to find something to pick on in others to feel better about themselves. If you were not Asian, it would be because you are tall, short, blonde, brunette, from up North or down South. It is highly likely that your heritage has nothing to do with it, and it's not casual racism at all. It's just the first thing they notice about you and so decide to focus on it to make themselves feel better. They probably do it to other people as well, just about different things.
Being an "affluent white British woman from the South", I can safely say that I've been picked on and called weird for pretty much everything. I have a weird eye colour, I'm too fat, I'm too thin, I'm too short, I have weird interests, I take pride in my studies etc. They will always find something, and normally pick the most obvious thing they can. I've not really encountered many people who are ACTUALLY racist, they just like to focus on an individual as bullying.
Also, by saying "oh the Asian one" they might not actually be meaning it as a racist comment. It's like if there were a crowd of brunette people and you wanted to point out a particular shirt that someone who happened to be a redhead was wearing, you'd say "the redhead". That doesn't mean you're trying to be mean about the particular hair colour, it is just a distinguishing feature that helps pick the person out of the crowd. Maybe you genuinely looked tired and they just wanted to clarify to whom they were referring.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Ask them! When you hear it build up the confidence to ask them why they make these comments. It will shock them as they probably won't know. If they reply its just a joke then tell them how offensive it is. Racism is never okay especially from white, middle class bigots!
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