A ,
anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and mostly it has been good. I wouldn't call myself a jealous or controlling bloke, but recently I've noticed that my girlfriend has been talking to a man every day, by text and on the phone. Recently when I was waking up and my girlfriend was asleep, I reached for her phone quite innocently to check the time. At this point she jumped up and grabbed the mobile from me. I wouldn't normally touch my girlfriend's phone, but this incident sent my paranoia sky high so I looked and cheked her message. I found one from this man calling her by a lot of pet names (honey, sweetheart etc.), and telling her that he'd been thinking about her a lot too. I checked again and found one saying "sweet dreams baby, wish you were here xxx". I really don't know what to do. The stupid thing is that I don't want to believe that my girlfriend's cheating on me, and so for the last few days I've said nothing about it and carried on as normal. It's really eating me up inside though, and I think Im scared of what I might find out by confronting her. If I do confront her though and it's nothing, I can imagine her thinking of me as "the jealous guy" and feeling distrusted and vulnerable. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Hi, im having the same problem with my girlfriend but its with her ex boyfriend.We got along really well and she got over her ex ad weve been together for 5 months now,but, recently she has been textin him and i thought ok there mates again big woop.But,the he starts ringing her and she's ringing him and they always meet up after school and im really worried that im going to lose her.
i went on her computer and i had a look at her msn history and i found that he said to her in one convo "wish it was a proper kiss" and "i want u back and i miss u,dont u want me back?" and she replies "yes but im with(me)"
this got me really angry and i confronted her and i told her everythin and it has been a massive regret she now thinks i dont trust her but i really do just wanted to know what her sie of the story was,she has been in a mood with me since and i just want her to trust me again.she has said that we should have a week brake and see how things are after...if u can help me please contact me thanks alot
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): dude tell her because once you do she'll be sad and crying and you'll be th happiest guy in the world!!! it happened to me it hurts but there's better fish in the sea!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2006): man you know what i have been down this road before. I found out that my girfriend was cheating on me by texting someone else i looked at her phone and it clearly stated I WANT TO F**** YOU TONIGHT i didnt say anything about because she the one brong it up see this is what you ask to see her phone right in front of her and look at the message and give her that look like you know you fucked up right but dont say nothin let her be the one to tell you about that message look man sometimes we have to chalk that shit up about i dont want her to think im jealous guy because clearly you want to know the truth so why ask but man jus take it slow.
here are some way to get the truth out of her
step1. ask to see her phone? if she be like why? jus say i jus want to see it.
step2. look through the phone look at that message
step3. give her that look that would make her ? herself
step4. put the phone back infront of her face and walk away
step5. laugh it off because she be like whats so funny
step6 let her tell about that message cuz clearly she gonna say did you see something that amused you and when she tell you about it dont say anything jus listen
step 7 get in dat ASS
HITE ME BACK AT [email address blocked] AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT WENT
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2005): I think you have to ask her. Judging from my experiance, I never thought my girlfriend of three years would cheat on me. I always knew she talked to guys but i never thought anything of it because she always said "we're just friends and I love you," Later I found out that wasn't the case and now I blame myself for not being suspicious; and now I'm always paranoid of her doing it again. Not everybody is the same and I'm not saying she is cheating on you but its always good to get to the bottom of things. Also judging from the fact that she freaked out about you looking at her phone my signify that she has something to hide.
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A reader, stripey, writes (15 January 2005): I think you have to ask her. Tell her you were only looking at the time when she snatched the phone from you and now because of that you feel she must have something to hide. Surely you would rather base your decision on what to do about your relationship on fact rather than something which may or may not be happening. It could be innocent on her part and may be someone chasing her but she might be scared to tell you incase you assume it's a 2 way thing. Give her the chance to tell you.
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