A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would like some advice from fellow adult females. I have just got out of a long relationship and don't want to get into another one for a good while. I have a high sex drive and miss that aspect of relationships. At present, I am tempted to sleep with men casually, using protection of course.I am worried that later on in life, I will regret sleeping with lots of people. On the other hand, I am worried that I will regret not sleeping with lots of people. What are people's experiences with this?
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 I think, if you are a sexually curious person there is nothing wrong with experiencing sex with multiple partners. I think there still IS somewhat of a double standard. Women who have had a large amount of sexual partners are labled sluts and whores, whereas if a guy has a different woman to take home every week, he is called a cheeky scamp, or a lovable rogue. It is simply much more socially acceptable. An example of this is, recently when a guy friend started sleeping with a girl after splitting form a long term partner, he came to me and said 'I'm not sure about this. I only want a bit of sex, but she is know as a slut and has slep around'. Why was it ok for him to have a bit of sex, when for her as a woman to have had sex with guys who aren't her partner, makes her a slut. (Man this topic hits a nerve for me lol!)
It's all down to personal preference. Do you give a crap what people think and what future potential husbands might think of you? Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone long term who couldn't accept me for who I am and who I've been.
I havn't behaved as a lady is expected, I am not a pure virgin. I do look back at some sexual conquests and question whether I should have done that. But you only live once, and I regret nothing. It has made me who I am. I have a high sex drive and a curiosity to explore my sexuality with different people. I have now found a lovely partner and I am devoted to him entirely. But if for whatever reason I find myself single, I'd see no reason not to have some fun between partners(not that I plan on this happening, touch wood).
Yes some people may percieve you as a slut, but that's their view. And in MY view they're missing out.
Just be careful who you chose to sleep with, use protection and unless you want a name for yourself(not that I'd care) be discreet. If no one knows, they can't lable/judge you. You're private life is YOUR own :)
That's my view.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): I basically agree with Yos. You've got absolutely every right to do anything you want with your life. Nobody has the right to judge you for it later.
But too much promisucity is something that the average man just finds very emtionally unattractive in a woman. A period of promiscuity might cost you good man later on, and it's not your choice to decide whether it should bother him or not. There is a difference between judging someone and just thinking a part of their emotional makeup is unattractive.
As for double standards, cross that bridge when (if) you come to it. These days I've heard a lot of women complain about their mans's "double standard" except their man's partner count is actually much lower than hers. A few men are sluts but most of them are not. That's the truth.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with sex. We all need to explore.
Having said that, understand that one day you may find yourself in love with a man that you want to spend the rest of your life with that would want to be with you, but chooses not to because you've spent part of your life like that. Which will break your heart. But on the flipside, you might find yourself with the perfect man because you made that choice.
Everything you do has consequences. As long as you can stand behind what you have done everything and anything is ok. Just don't put yourself in a situation where you'll be ashamed later in life, because there's no coming back from that. Respect yourself and others will respect you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Protection is not 100%. The only safe protection is to stay away from sex completely. You can still get STD's or STI's from sexual or oral sex.
You run a higher risk of getting them when you have multi partners.
You will leave a very long trail after your name where ever you go .Those men whom you slept with will pass your names around to their buddies.
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A
female
reader, pandabird +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Everyone is different and I don't know how you will feel after you sleep with someone casually... Is it genuinely that you miss sex, or miss the intimacy with your previous partner?
If you're just trying to fill a void, then I would say this wasn't a good idea, it can bring up a lot of negative emotions.
However, When I was single, I enjoyed sex with different people, and haven't regretted it.
As long as you both know it's a casual thing and no-one gets hurt, I don't see anything wrong with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): The price to pay is very very high. People will judge you and your value will go down. NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY A WHORE. Of course if you can be very secretive so no one finds out, that might work.
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A
male
reader, NJACKSN91  +, writes (16 March 2010):
I know you want a females perspective but honestly i have to chime in on this one. I am young and a male but you will regret it. I have too many young girls in my life right now (17-21 years old) who are already regretting doing that. Wishing they could take it back and only have a few "special someone" sexual partners. So just from what I have gathered from my Girlfriends is that you will regret it. And nothing is less attractive than a girl that has a lot of guys under her belt.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 My experience is that once I wanted to experiment on sex, it's the men who got clingy. I guess that's how our opposite polarities work. Clingy women attract men who couldn't care less. I am vain, I don't regret anything I do. If I do, it's because of hurting the men who expected something more. I think I slept with 5 (one was an 18 year old virgin, one was impotent, one can't last long in bed and was unavailable, one was too old and was married, one had communication problems), then I said to myself I had enough, I want something serious.
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A
female
reader, Realitycheck +, writes (16 March 2010):
 You should never feel afraid or embarrassed to shop around when it comes to your sexual experiences and preferences. Too many women marry young and end up wondering what's out there, then make a break for it at 40 and freak everyone out. As long as you are not in a committed relationship with anyone, you should use the time to find out what's out there and learn what you need/want in a man. But on that note, you should also keep your sexual experiences to yourself. Women get labeled pretty quick and you can end up in that "can't take home to Mother" box and somewhere down the road when you've sowed your wild oats, and want to find a nice guy to settle down with and have kids, you will be suck in the "bad girl" file and stuck with guys who don't make the grade. There's nothing wrong with a sexual past as long as you're descrete, have some standards and don't share it with anyone. No, not even the nice guy you want to later marry. Especially him.
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