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anonymous
writes: I have been interested in a guy on my course for over two years now. We have kissed a number of times and i really like him. When we are out drinking together with a big group he frequently tells me that he really fancies me and wants to take me out to dinner and for a drink but never really does anything about it when we are sober. I have not had a physical realtionship with him cause i know he is a player , he has sex with lots of different women and i worry he will really hurt me.His best mate who i really trust says he has fancied me for years and that we should both just get it on. I really want to believe him but i am so confused i dont know what to do anymore. This guy is very complex and i know he fancies me but i dont know how to deal with him. I have tried shutting him out of my mind and gone out with other people cause i sometimes feel he is a waste of time but i know that i will always have a soft spot for him and when he tells me how much he likes me i try and tell him i am not interested so he will leave me alone but the next day i will think about him and wander if there is some truth in what he says or whether this is just a control thing.I cant cope with any of his mind games anymore. We are both working in the same hospital next year and i see that as an opportunity to get closer to him but i am scared that he will mess me around. I dont know when has is telling the truth. I know a lot of girls think he is a complete jerk but i know he has been hurt by women in the past and is very insecure and thats why i sometimes feel that we will get together one day when the time is right but i cant wait forever.I am not messed up about him everyday just for a couple of days after we have been out and he has told me that he wants to settle down with me etc and tells me basically everything i want to hear.He also says he doesnt believe me when i say i like him and that he often goes off with other girls cause he doesnt think he can get me. I do believe this caseu most of the time the women he pulls are not that attractive and i am an attractive girl and have a lot of male attention when i am out.Please give me some advice . I know i should just speak to him when i am sober but the fact is i feel that he will reject me even if he has deep feelings for me. I just want him to leave me alone or do something about it. i do think that maybe i should sleep with him cause then at least if thats all he want he will get it and leave me alone and its not like he will see me as being easy cause i have turned him down hundreds of times.If he did just want sex with me would he honestly be putting in everyone says he likes me but i dont know what to believe any more!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, confuzed +, writes (9 June 2005):
Have you ever thought that this could be exactly what he was thinking too? When you really like someone, whether you are a player or not you become shy and reserved until your drunk. When a person is drunk all their inhabitions seem to disapear and you become more open. Maybe becasue he feels so strongly for you he is scared he will have the same reaction that you are fearing and he thinkg you may reject him. He may say these things when hes drunk and hope to make moves when he is sober but feels too shy and maybe you may show no interest in him when he is sober so he feels you are only interested in him when he is drunk. Men are very sensetive creatures and as a famouse comedian once stated 'men are the most romantic of all creatures, they run around after women, tell their friends about this special woman and how he cant live without her and he will die or be nothing with out her. if he doesnt get her he may as well be a bum living on the streets...and thats how women feel about shoes!' it really says it all so for once take a chance and pounce on ur man! You will be the happier for it no matter what the outcome!
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