A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do i am in love with my teacher! I have never felt this way about anyone and i know it's more way than a crush. He is 25 and i am almost 16. We have such a close relationship that i don't even think of him as a teacher. I can literally talk to him about anything and he is all i think about. He is in my head 24/7 and i really think i love him. It's killing me and making me sad all the time knowing that i'm not with him because i want to be so bad! He flirts with me all the time and he knows he does. I don't want to put his career in jeopardy because i want what's best for him but i can't fight these feeling anymore! I go out of my way to be with him and he lets me hang out with him instead of going to other classes i just don't know what to do! I want to tell him or something but i don't know how and i hope something will happen but is there anyway to get these feeling to go away? And what if i am truely in love with this man, will these feeling ever go away or will i have to put up with them forever and have to always think about what could have happend? Please help me i don't know what to do.
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (30 May 2009):
Woah, this is not good. He lets you stay with him instead of other classes? This is awful and unprofessional and you should be going to class. It's understandable you believe you're in love with him and thinking about him 24/7, he has shown interest in you. You are 13-15 years old!! You're under age of consent, for god'sake this teacher should not be showing interest in you! Don't worry about him and his career, that's not your problem, don't want the best for him. He;s an adult man and he knows what he's doing. What you are saying is very worrying, and also means it may be happening to others or has happened to others in the past. You need to stop seeing him when you should be in class, your education is far more important than any relationship or feeling you might hold with a teacher!
If you tell him you will get the relationship you seek; stop thinking of his life and think of yours! This teacher is obviously not in love with you becausee he lets you dissipate your education to be with him, this is NOT RIGHT. It all sounds very weird to me, i think if you told your mum she would be down the school very fast; and this says something!
What is so wrong that you need the attentions of this teacher? You are using this to escape from something else; what is that? And why are you feeling insecure? Why are you on this site asking what to do, when you know no one will be able to tell you. Everyone will tell you how you are too young, that it is just a crush, that you should report him, that you are delusional or say you will 'ruin his life'. None of this is YOUR fault, NONE. What worries me is that this teacher has knowingly let you become dependant on him, he KNOWS you fancy him, this has been obvious to him for a while. There is no need to tell him, he KNOWS. He likes this, he likes the attention.
You need to stop seeing him, the feelings won't just go away I'm afraid and telling him will do nothijg and help nothing. You will end up in an abusive and unhappy relationship with a man who has not grown up and does not care for you. If you get found out you may get expelled.
Thing is; we;d like to think that schools do the right thing; but alot of the time they cover up for the teachers. They may convey you as deluded and harassing and expel you and he will just go on with his job. You are only insisting you care for his life and don't want to get him sacked because you don't understand the seriousness of this situation - by insisting that, it does not prove you are in love with him it only proves that you are consumed and naive. The naivety stems from lack of life experience - i can confidently tell you that this man knows all the risks very well and is willing to risk everything to get his kicks; and it is probably not the first time or the last time.
You deserve better! Stop trying to escape or find a substitute and solve the real problems in your life. It is obvious you are trying to escape something. I'm sure you are a gorgeous, intelligent and interesting girl that does not need attentions from an obviously very flawed and selfish man. My advice is to rise above it and realize that you are you, and you need no one to 'build your confidence' for you, you don't need to prove anything to anyone. I think you need to look over your life and re-evauluate your priorities; don't you want to be able to stand proud and say that despite yopur obsessions, despite the fact that this thing almost totally consumed you, you rose above it; you created a life for yourself. You are your own person and cannot rely on this teacher for his affections, it will only end up destroying you. You need to build your own confidence from the inside out. Maybe get a makeover, pick up a new hobby get a boyfriend (even if its just for the sake of it) and definately concentrate on your school work because the economy and everything at the moment means that academic prowess is a must if you want to get a decent job when you're older.
Hope i helped.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): if you are certain its love, cant you let it be and love him from a far? if there is truly something there than he will love you enough to let you continue in your other classes and want you to develop your life, have a secure future that only a good education can give you, and he will wait for you when you are legal. most guys are into young girls cause their insecure and they need someone they feel are innocent. what happens when you become 18, even 19, 20? will he be into you or other young girls? guys into young girls always trade them in for a younger version. they make you feel special, because they have the insight on what you want to hear, see, or feel. your a new toy to him. leave this guy alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): if you love him as much as you say you do, could you bear the idea of him going to prison and being raped by other inmates who have daughters your age out there and hate pedophiles? im being blunt, but my dad left my mom for a 17 year old girl and when he was found out in prison he was raped. and that girl moved on- guess she couldn't wait for my dad, right?she ruined not only his life because she felt she was in love, but she ruined my mom, my little brothers life, and mine!!!he lost his job, we lost our home. and when he was locked up she only wrote him once. but before then when we found out he was sleeping with her she wrote him all these love letters claiming to be in love with im, spend forever with him, that her love was real, and so on. but even if she loved him, why didnt she at least wait until she was old enough for him, and then we could at least not be disgraced by him being a pedophile who cheated on my mom?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): I know, in a way, how you feel. My relationship with my teacher goes far beyond teacher/student. I love him but not in a romantic way. He is everything to me, a father figure, my mentor, my role model, my best friend. We spend so much time together, hours after school, free periods and lunches. I've been to his house, he brings me home and pretty much takes care of me. He was at prom and cut in so he could dance with me...there are so many stories I could tell you LOL.
Here is my advice...you obviously cannot have a relationship with him while you are a student. It could get him fired, and you in big trouble. If you truly care about him and want what is best, you wouldn't dream of risking his job, right?
I hate saying this, but I found out for myself how true it is. What you might think is love right now, is really only infatuation and a crush. You admire him because he is older, mature, smart and good-looking. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, so many students develop crushes for their teachers, but these feelings will most likely pass. There's nothing wrong with being friends and being close to a teacher as long as you keep it that way. I know in my case, I have been very lucky that people aren't suspicious about my teacher and I. If these feelings remain, you might love him, who knows? But let's be realistic...how much do you know about this man? Do you know what he's really like? What he believes in? What makes him happy and sad? His past, present and future?
After you graduate, if the two of you remain in touch and close, that would be the time to make a move so that it's not illegal and can't get him in trouble.
I wish you luck with this, and please, if you want to talk more message me and I am more than happy to listen/share experiences with you. I would send you a message, but you are anonymous :) I hope to hear from you.
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A
female
reader, SheLovesHimLotss_x +, writes (23 May 2009):
i know exactly how you feel i love my teacher but hes 40 and he does exactly what your teacher does with you i've liked him for 4 years, and i tdhim i liked him about 2month ago now he was fine with it untill i started self harmin because of him and now yesterday i got told i wasnt aloud to be near him anymore for my safety so im just saying dont let yourself fall to deeply in love wth him and talk to someon fast about it you love this teacher and if he is going to continue to treat you like this you are going to fall for him even more x
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