A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts, this isn't really a relationship question as such but I was hoping that you could give me some advice about dealing with people who make nasty comments.I would have been described as a Tomboy when I was younger as I always played football (soccer to you Americans)and dressed in a boyish fashion. The thing is that I never really grew out of that, I still have an athletic build which is skinny and quite boyish. I also dress mostly in jeans and hoodies and don't wear make up because I never learned how to apply it properly and I feel self-conscious wearing it.The problem is that some people feel that this gives them the right to approach me in the street and things like "Excuse me are you a man or a woman because you look like a man" to get a laugh out of their mates. Or to shout "Lesbian" or "That girl looks like a man" etc I'm sure you get the picture. I usually just try to ignore them, although some can be really persistant, getting in my face and laughing. I pretend not to care at the time, but then I end up crying later when I'm alone. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, XxMishxX +, writes (23 January 2012):
Hey,
The thing you've got to ask yourself, are you happy being you? Do you prefer the way you dress? Do you like 'girly' clothes?
If your happy being you why change because of some small minded immature bullies?
I no how you feel because im not a girly girl, i dont like skirts or dresses, you'll most likely see me in combats or baggy trousers, so what? thats me and if others dont like it, f**k them! Im quite gothic and iv had people shout things at me like 'err dirty goth' or 'devil worshiper' but am i going to change to please others? no!
Dont change yourself for others, because you are you, you are an individual with individual style, dont be a sheep, stand out!
yeah experiment with clothes and make up but dont just do it to make others happy or something your not comfortable with.
Good luck :-)
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (22 January 2012):
 I disagree with the girl that said change your look.
At the end of the day you can wear what ever you like to wear, what makes you feel comfortable.
Once you tell yourself that the bullies are just low life scum, you'll become untouchable. It's all in the mind.
The people that taunt you darling, are the people that spend hours on their appearance. And for what? Who are they fooling. They want to look so good for everyone else that they lose the true meaning of themselves. Personality shines through so much brighter than beauty.
you don't have to pretend to be something your not.
Trust me, i was bullied at school and now the people that bullied me are doing nothing with their lives and i have an amazing boyfriend, our own place and a baby.
So just remember, your life is yours. Don't let the bullies dictate. If you be what they want you to be, in 10 years time you'll look back and think "why was i such an idiot"
At the end of the day you're still young and just finding yourself. You have plenty of time yet to experiment with make up. Enjoy being you. You only get one shot at this life. if you can't be yourself what can you be?
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): Those people are assholes.
But you can do things to change your appearance, the best way is to learn from a friend who is a stylist how to apply make up and fix your hair.
One of my best friends is a guy, and also a stylist and he has helped me so much...
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (22 January 2012):
 I was the same when i was younger however i wasnt just playing soccer i helped out on the farm. So i had no idea on fashion or really on make up. Very nieve about how people acted as well, some can be really cruel but they do it to get kicks because their life is not any better than yours infact it could be worse and its the highlight of their day. I learnt over time by looking at magazines or things on internet on fashion and make up. I looked for a model or whatever that looked the closest to me and looked at what she wore. So when i went to stores i bought something i liked that was different do not be afraid of change it doesnt change you just the appearance, i know you shouldnt have to change how you look but it can give your alot more confidence and control. As for make up i did the same thing looked at what those women that looked like me had on and tried it at home and compared them. In the end my sisters steal my technique cause its in and fashionable. However it doesnt change who i am, im still the girl from the farm but when i leave the farm im a confident good looking gal because its always nice for a change! hope this helps aphex xx
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