A
male
age
51-59,
sad sack
writes:We started out as friends. Five years ago, we were a DINK couple who doted their two kids and found the parents to be sincere, loving, simple but honest.Over time we got to know each other even better when we were between houses and moved in with them for six months.We started to feel really attached to them, like family. We went out together all the time, spent time almost exclusively with them.We got pregnant, had a daughter. One day the wives talked about their sex lives, I believe it was my friends idea to have the wives enjoy an evening pampering themselves, wearing lingerie and playing a strip tease game they bought from the local sex store. The idea was that we men watched while our wives massaged and mani pedied each other.It was all so erotic. Here we were in a room, the two men watching our wives topless. We decided to massage the women later, it was supposed to be non erotic. but I couldn't keep my hands off the erogenous zones and in time we were all quite aroused.A lot of emotions and waves of guilt passed through my wife. We all assuaged each other and promised that as long as we all realised that our families came first and we would respect boundaries, as in, we would not go all the way and neither would we do our stuff in separate rooms.So over the next few months, we would meet weekends and indulge in foreplay.We watched each other slyly and studied styles.Later we decided to move into separate rooms so we could be ourselves.We vowed we would never go all the way. Eventually we did.I started to fall in love with the other woman. I think we all said I love you to each other.So while we put on a pretence in public that there was nothing going on between each other, there was always sexual tension.I started to get jealous of her husband, hated the fact he had so much control over his wife and that they were so in love with each other despite what was going on.Arguements started frequently, small things exploded into huge deals.Finally we fought so bitterly that our friends no longer want to have anything to do with us.Do I regret our weekly sessions? Never. It was one of the things that we all looked forward to.I guess we handled it badly.But I truly believe that if this way of life was socially acceptable, there might be fewer divorces.Sometimes all a man or a woman needs is to be wanted, to get it off with another human being without having to have affairs and be guilty for doing the wrong thing.Me and my wife aren't guilty of what we shared with our one time friends and partners. We are sad that it ended abruptly and so badly.
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affair, divorce, foreplay, I love you, jealous, moved in Reply to this Article
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You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): You and your wife need to continue to strengthen your bond and make sure that your BOTH on the same wavelenght when it comes to swinging NOT equating to love. saying "I love you" to a play partner is crossing a bad line, and you need to NOT do that. Enjoying another couples company is OK, just don't fall in love.
Some people only swing on vacations, others have a "three time" rule, that means they don't see a couple more than 3 times... this is in an effort to avoid emotional entanglments. Others seek "like souls" that they can play with regularly. Personally, I like the vacation plan, as today, you can plan a vacation to a "play freindly' resort and get on forums and "met couples" that will be at the same resort long before your vacation. hooking up then is alot easier and you'll ahve a week of hot sex to keep your flames lit till the next vacation!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): Couples dating couples is VERY COMPLEX... and while it can be highly erotic for a while, the balance is hard, and the majority of the time the whole thing comes tumbling down.If you two enjoy the erotic nature of group sex, I'd suggest exploring swinging at on-primise clubs. You two go out for a night, play and go home... keep home and play seperate...
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A
female
reader, Ladeeda  +, writes (9 October 2008):
The question I have for all people who swing is.. why even get married? When you stand at the alter before other and God do you not vowe to love only this person and to become "one" with them, not 4 other people. I'm sure there are going to be people that get pissed off over this comment, but marriage is intended for 2 people. It was not meant to bring in 4-5 other people. That is called lust. And when we give into our lust, it takes over our mind and lives. And then how are we suppose to get back to what is right. Listen very close to the little voice inside telling you its wrong. We all have a right to make our own decisions though, and we have to live with the consiquences.
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A
female
reader, SaintlySal  +, writes (27 September 2008):
I applaud your self awareness. However, there are lessons to be learnt from the consequences of indulging in such behaviour. Take those lessons on board. Communicate. Communicate, and move forward.Take care
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (26 September 2008):
 yeah but the fact that it did end in this manner confirms that this sort of thing has way too much potential to go in any diraction some of them not so good...
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