A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've sort of made contact with this girl online via youtube (I watched her videos and made a couple of video responses which she seemed to like). She recently used the word 'sweetie' in a message though, and it's gotten me all confused... What should I make of that? She's a few years younger than I, which is why the word sounded weird to me, and she's quite popular I think. Neither of us had used any familiar language like that in our brief messages before, so I'm now really puzzled.I guess I'd inadvertently sounded sort of vulnerable and puppy-like in a previous message (as I so often do with women :/) which might have yielded the response I got: I'd asked about adding on facebook, she said sorry but she only adds people she knows on facebook, and suggested aim and twitter. I then felt really embarassed for having asked about facebook in the first place, since I might have seemed like a creepy stalker guy or something, and said so. She told me not to feel embarassed, she gets asked a lot. I had given my aim details but gave her the wrong thing (hadn't used aim before), and she explained what the aim screen name was and dropped 'sweetie' at the end of the sentence. Maybe she was amused by me not knowing the 'procedure' for aim? Maybe she wanted to hint that she's not interested in any way except for being on aim? Maybe she thought I sounded sort of 'vulnerable' for being embarassed by the facebook rejection? What do you mean if you say 'sweetie'? What was she trying to convey? Patronizing? Amused? Or did she just throw it in oblivious to the many ways someone could interpret something like that?It's sort of dawning on me that this girl probably gets all kind of attention from guys online, which has made me feel really really depressed :/ I'm just another over-optimistic guy. Maybe getting called 'sweetie' is like my bonus points for effort.Can anyone tell me how I should respond when I give my correct aim screen name to her? Pretend she didn't say sweetie? Take it as a good sign? Keep hope of becoming friends? All I want to do is go beyond being internet buddies become real friends with her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I'm English and I use sweetie all the time-don't think too much into it. Sweetie is a general term, I call ir to people if I forget their name(not saying that she did or anything!) But if she makes a personal petname that only relates to you, then maybe you should bring it up.
A
male
reader, anoms +, writes (22 April 2009):
 wow dude i thought i overanalyze these things but you just stole my glory lol, ok well in truth there seems to be a heck of alot more guys chasing after average to decent looking women online these days then ever before, and if she said she gets asked for her details alot i would believe its an understatement and shes just being modest. from what you said it sounds like shes quite confident even around older guys like yourself online, so i wouldnt expect you will get anything more from adding her then a friend number and a 'hello' here and there, but dont get me wrong i wish you the best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Glad to help!Me, I think I would not say anything unless it happened again, in which case you could make some casual comment. Either way, don't worry about the whole thing too much, because in any case it's probably no big thing.And out of curiosity, are there any common terms of endearment like that in the UK? My bf is English an he doesn't like using any of the American terms because he thinks they sound silly with his accent. Unless he's making fun of me, hahaha... Sorry, I digress. It's not something you should worry yourself with! Good luck!-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I guess I'm probably over-analysing this. GoGreen's reply was really helpful though.
Maybe I should make an offhand comment in my reply going along the lines of "it's nice to be called a sweetie"? And maybe say it's not something you hear that often in the UK (she's american).Although when I read that out it sounds like it could be a weird thing to say.
So what's better? Saying that, or ignoring the fact that she said it?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 The southern belles in the US often call people "sweetie" or "darlin'", it is just a custom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): That's a lot of questions and I don't know allthe answers, all I can tell you is what I know from experience. I call EVERYONE by pet names, eg. Hon, love, dear, sweetie, etc. When I first meet someone new I try not to do that because they obviously wouldn't know that was a habit of mine. I try to be careful precisely because of your question--they wouldn't know how to interpret it.She could be like me, and just call anyone whatever she feels like calling them.This girl also could have sensed your vulnerability, and she naturally responded comfortingly.It's possible that the girl feels a connection with you and didn't know how to go about handling that.Those are really the only options that really make much sense to me, but of course there could be others I haven't considered. Next time you talk to this girl, pretend like nothing happened, because to her, nothing really did happen. If it happens again, you can mention to her that it makes you feel uncomfortable. Don't worry about it, in any context "sweetie" isn't really a big deal and it's almost never a bad thing. (I can't guarantee it, but I can't think of when it's a negative.) Good luck!-GG
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