A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So your relationship just ended. You're feeling like absolute crap, and not sure how life could possibly go on without them. Maybe you should have done this differently, or done that differently. You're questioning everything, and doubting yourself. To put it simply - you're a mess. You're alone, with nothing to occupy your mind but thoughts of them, and the relationship that just was, but now is no more. FEAR NOT! I am here to not only tell you that you can and WILL move on, but to give you some helpful tips that I've found time and again to be quite helpful! 1) Remind yourself that missing them is normal. They were a part of your life for (insert length of relationship here), and it's natural to feel like something is missing. 2) Do NOT call/text/email/im/facebook stalk/etc... You will make yourself miserable, and risk annoying them, or ruining your chances of a possible reconciliation/friendship in the future.3) Ban sad/romantic songs from your ear drums. Seriously. During one of my worst break-ups, I would not allow myself to listen to Usher for weeks. It helped. 4) Rediscover your love for cake, ice cream, chocolate, tiramisu (I just had to put that in there), and just junk food in general. I said these tips would be helpful, not healthy! 5) Hang out with your friends. I find this to be the hardest one to follow through on, because all you want to do is wallow and be fat while watching Bridget Jones' Diary over, and over. But trust me, your friends love you and know you're upset. They will probably stop at nothing to cheer you up, the least you could do is let them try. 6) Talk about it. I don't care if it's here, or to yourself, or to a friend, or to a stranger... for the love of God, talk about it! Vent, vent, vent. 7) Cry. The uglier the cry, the better. This will relieve some of the stress, and allow you to relax. It is also a great, but slightly depressing way to fall asleep when you would otherwise be up all night thinking. 8) Do not attempt to get over this person by "getting under someone else". While I have not taken my own advice several times, I can at least tell you that it will more likely than not make you feel ten times worse. 9) Do not try to stop thinking about it. Allow yourself to think about them, and about your relationship. Allow yourself to be sad. The more you try to stop thinking about them, the more you'll end up thinking about them. By trying to stop yourself from doing it, you are just prolonging the healing process. 10) Give it time. This is the most important thing. I know it's annoying to hear, and I almost hate to say it. I am hearing my mom saying this to me as I type, so I know. It is the most common advice you're going to get, because it's true. Time really does heal most wounds, and you will find this to be the case for you as time goes on. It's important to know that this isn't the end of the world. It's normal to miss them, to feel you made a mistake, or to feel like you just can't go on. You need to remember that for the most part, relationships end for a reason. While you may not be seeing clearly just yet, hindsight is 20/20. The perspective you'll have in a few days, weeks, or months, will surprise you. Being alone, for however long you are without a partner, is not a negative thing. I cannot stress this enough!! Enjoy the freedom. Learn to love and appreciate yourself. Reconnect with friends you may have drifted away from during your relationship. Spend time doing what you enjoy most, and revel in the fact that you can do so without limitations. Life is short, and most of us will love many times. The experiences you gain, and the memories you'll have are invaluable. So smile, because even though it's the end of one part of your life, it's just the beginning of another.
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