A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, I wrote a question on the 31st of january;I keep hoping she'll regret our breakup and come back to me! How do I deal with this heartache?If you would like to read that it may give more background info to my question.I've been trying my best to move on, ive joined new things, gone out loads with friends and slept with other girls but i just cant seem to get over her. What it is the other night i was out with friends having a drink and to my amazement i saw her out with friends. I noticed my friends saw her and they asked if i wanted to leave but i said no, we just hoped our mutual "friend"(we dont like her but put up with her as she goes out with our mate) who was out with her didnt come over. Ater 2 mins she had seen us and ran over and gave us a hug and was o.t.t as usual,then my ex came over, she looked a bit sad and asked if i was ok. I just instantly felt drunk even though i hadnt yet had a drink. I said, alright? and she then wrapped her arms around me and said please hug me, over and over and kissed me on the cheek a few times and said whatever anyone says you mean the world to me and always will. I didnt really hug her back but for some reason kissed her back as she was sobbing a bit. I told her she looked nice then she said have a good night.My head is now gone again! i cant stop thinking about her. she seemed genuine and nice, so i cant seem to dislike her which did make things easier. Everyone says that she is a good actor and that was for her benefit not mine and that she wanted to be seen in a good light by everyone.Any way i think now that i will never properly get over her cos every time i see her its gonna put me in square 1 again, however long it is before i see her again. it was 4 months before i saw her now, and i know shes with sum1 else who she seems to be really happy with. Surley if i should be over her by now?What do you guys think?thanks for the advice last time...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Wow, I think if your ex-girlfriend doesn't want to get back with you then she was really messing with your head, no wonder you feel confused about things.
I'm not surprised you still don't feel like you have got over her if she does really act in a manipulative way like that.
I can understand about the hate thing, I think sometimes people use hate to help themselves get over someone. If what your friends say about your ex is true, surely this is a good reason to dislike her, that she would be so heartless to put on an act in front of you?
Personally I am not sure why she would put on an act like that for her benefit? If she didn't care for you, she would not have come over and been so affectionate.
Usually I would say talk to the ex and try and get some closure or find out what is going on. I mean, are you sure you guys are completely over, for good? Or, if you think your friends are right then maybe it is better to avoid her and keep on trying to get over her as you have done. I'm sure you feel an improvement since you broke, even if it is small? It might sound drastic but if you have strong feelings for this girl but that she doesn't want you back then maybe you could consider speaking to a counselor if things don't improve?
Lastly I would say there is never a set time that you should be over someone. Sometimes people get over someone quickly, others it can take years for you to completely deal with it. So try not to feel there is anything wrong with you just because this is taking longer than you thought. It shows you have feelings and this is not a bad thing. You certainly aren't alone in going through what is such enduring heartache. Keep ya chin up? :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): i know what you mean i broke up with my ex 4 weeks ago and i still love her and cant get her out of my mind either. but im waiting true love only comes once, and eventhough she was my first real girlfriend i know shes the one. you will never get her out of your head. youll just have to deal and let the pain and agony die at its own pace. it will get old and then you will move on. time heals all.
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