A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a bit of a mess emotionally and I am wondering what to do. I stupidly took part in a reality TV show 20 years ago. The footage is damaging bot to my wellbeing and my career and I wish to remove rights to broadcasting including airing online. I contacted the broadcaster 2 years ago who advised that I will be contacted prior to any broadcasting of this footage to check my permissions.Earlier today however, I came across this footage Youtube and it has brought on symptoms of PTSD. I had severe PND at the time and my medical records will show this. Basically i was grossly manipulated and taken advantage of for the entertainment of others. All day I have been on the phone to solicitors trying to find a legal way of doing this however nobody is wanting to take on my case. Besides moving abroad and changing my name, how do I combat the PTSD? The footage is very damaging and personal and if anybody in my circle saw it or knew of it, I don't know what I would do. Does anybody have any advice at all about it? I haven't stopped crying all day. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2023): I would say contact other people in the reality TV industry who have been through this and came out stronger. Katie price is one who has been through it all through TV and media, laws and suffered PTSD she has a radio podcast where she gives advice and an email to contact her, there are many others out there who are in the same situation
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 September 2023):
 Two things come to my mind.
1. ACCEPT your past. It's part of how you got to where you are now. Good AND bad. Proud moments and the embarrassing ones.
Once you get past your childhood EVERYONE has made mistakes. Everyone has things they are not proud of doing, saying, or thinking about. That is the reality of life.
Life is a series of choices, we make good ones and bad ones. But it's not always about the CHOICE, it's about how you handled it emotionally and personally.
2. Seek out a therapist/counselor and talk about what triggers you and how to combat it.
If you were watching YouTube and a clip or episode came up, YOU did have the choice to close YouTube. You didn't have to watch it. Not blaming you, but if it makes you cringe so hard it brings out PTSD, maybe it's something to stay away from.
If anyone in your circle saw it it wouldn't be the end of the world, unless your friend circle is a viscious one.
You might get questions, and you might get a little teasing but that would also be your chance to say: " Yes, I was young and stupid and it's a deep regret, but I can't change the past so can we PRETEND you never saw it? Or just leave it in the past".
Living with regret to a degree, that it makes you sick is not healthy.
Regret is (to me) akin to jealousy - it's pointless. You can't CHANGE your past. You did this, and you have to accept it.
Whether you can LEGALLY remove rights to broadcasting it is beyond my scope. But if NO solicitors are willing to try, you might have signed a contract back that you can not renege on now.
However, you may not have found the RIGHT solicitor yet. So I wouldn't totally give up on that.
Lastly, I'm sorry but once "things" are out there digitally- it will probably always BE out there. I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2023): I'm sorry to hear about your suffering.I understand that you view situation as having an external problem, wishing to erase your past, that you are constantly being reminded of due to the video footage being availabe online and otherwise.I would, first of all, find a good therapist. Therapy can be of great help when dealing with the PTSD. The symptoms you are experiencing are REAL and you need help dealing with them.Nobody wants to take on your case, because they know that in all likelyhood they cannot win. Contracts you signed are ironclad. Producers are using people and know how to protect themselves and to continue making money.I understand that you did some things that you would never ever do now. That's what growing up (old) and changing is. Accepting our own decisions (especially bad ones) and not being judgemental is crucial for our well being. That's wy therapy can be of great help.I have experienced something similar and needed to grow, love myself and accept my exepreinces. I didn't sign anything, but, some of my "friends" from the University stole my private diary (that taught me NEVER to write anything down, never to say something in emails, never to post anything on social networks... even thougt this "episode" happened before smartphoneq and social media). At that time I was in a relationship with an older man who was divorcing his wife. Whole hell broke loose, I'll leave it at that. And yes. I did ave triggers all around me. I learned how not to be triggered by them. Again. Therapy.In short, the problem is how you relate to yourself as a younger person and the life you had, not what you actually did or didn't do. It will stop being a problem once you decide it's not a problem anymore. The footage will always be there, as will some poeple who will remind us of "what we did". We need to learn to let go of our self-image, fears and expectations.Be well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2023): I’m sorry to hear this. I have no idea legally what can be done - do you remember if you signed a waiver regarding the broadcasting of it?
Regarding ptsd, have you spoken to your Dr regarding this? They can get you the help you need. Also if you had pnd during the time of filming why did the producers let you go ahead with it? I know now days to be on reality tv you need to be thoroughly assessed to make sure you can cope with the stress of it all etc….I’m guessing this wasn’t the case 20 years ago.
If it has been 20 years already & nobody has seen this show or recognized you maybe no one will- 20 years is a long time to have footage out there & no one you know has come across it.
If someone does see it & recognize you then just tell them what you told us- you had pnd & were manipulated- I think people will be more understanding than you realize. Unfortunately I don’t think you were the first or last to have this done to them in the name of entertainment.
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