A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 18 shes 17. Okay. So this may sound stupid to most of you.But hear me out. Me and my g/f has ben datin 4 almost 6 months now. She has 13 sexual partners she first claimed 4 were rape but has sense came clean to only one being rape. While i only have 2.Well theres mass trust issues between us and im stuck on her sexual past.Partly because she tries so hard (too hard) to build my confidence about my penis size.Yeasterday during intercourse she screamed something along the lines of "nobody has ever been that deep". After we were sitting there smoking a cigarette and she said i meant it. And i said meant what she responded the deep part. I then said you've already told me that you've been with "bigger penises" so how could that be. And she said well second cuz this one guy had tears in my eyes it hurt so bad when he went that deep. I know its not the guy that raped her and she said it as in a Bragging way. Stuff like this bothers me as if i cant satisfy her enough. Or she lies to me to boost my well known low self esteem.I just really need help. Any advice is appreciated. If you need to know anymore please jsut ask. Im a frequent. Thanks for your time. Derik
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confidence, my penis, penis size, self esteem, sexual past, she lies Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to thank u both. It really helps clear my mind some. Thanks.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (22 November 2009):
 It's not a good topic to discuss: bringing up past partners is never going to make your current one feel good.
Just tell her you don't want to hear it anymore. In a nice way of course. Explain to her that it makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather discuss the present and future with her.
My suggestion to you is to put it out of your mind. Enjoy being with her now for who she is. You are young and you have plenty of time to explore sex in the future. 2 sexual partners at 18 is a healthy number, you have nothing to worry about as far as your own performance goes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): She is young and inexperienced when it comes to relationships. She might think that because she's had many partners she knows it all, but the number of partners says nothing about sexual experience. Also, she doesnt sound like she's got much understanding for relationships and what to say/not to say. This is something you pick up on as you grow older, so in a way I am asking you to excuse her a bit. I just dont think she knows better.
What you have to do is simply to tell her how this makes you feel. No man wants to be compared to other men, I bet you she would NOT like it if you started comparing her to other women. I don't like it, and I dont think anyone likes that. However she believes it's giving you compliments when it's really just dragging your attention to her previous partners. The fact that she even would tell you the size of men she's been with before sounds, like you said, like bragging. It's unnecessary information that you didnt need to hear, nor do I think you were interested. Tell her that. And tell her that those type of details are thing she can keep to herself or sheer with her girlfriends, but not with her boyfriend.
In her defense though, I think she cares a lot about you and really mean no harm with telling you these things. She is probably trying to do just what you said: boost up your confidence. But she's not doing that by telling you these things, so just tell her to stop. Tell her you're not interested one bit in hearing about what other men did or couldn't do, nor are you interested in being compared to them (no matter if she says you are better it's still a comparison). She needs to be more tactful. This of course, she can't know unless you tell her what you like or don't like.
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