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male
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*ovestrangelove
writes: PLEASE READ AND HELP ME:I met this mid 20s girl thru a friend about 5 1/2 months ago and we started dating a few weeks into it. I had sex with her fairly quickly, 2nd or 3rd date. She is what people considering quite cute, fairly short (5'1 and 1/2), of Vietnamese origins and she is aspired to become a Vietnamese singer. After 2,3 weeks she started asking me to help her stay in the US by marrying her. She came to the US about 2 years ago via the fiance visa but they broke up less than 90 days later. I was very tempted to do it but I often hear horror stories about users and con artists who manipulated for immigration purpose so I told her that I wasn't ready to do this because marriage is a very serious decision. She said that if I could just help her then she would find a way to repay me later but I told her again that my uncle from Vietnam also asked me to do the paperwork with his wife's daughter (his step daughter) and I am still caught in the middle. Then she started asking me if I could find somebody to help her, i.e. a friend of mine. I did try but was unsuccessful. I would then process to tell her that perhaps I could find somebody to do this just for the paperwork only and work with them financially later. She kept insisting on that she is wanting a family and the hi cost of this type of marriage. Anyway, her friend "T" who was an ex stripper took her to apply for a waitress job at a strip bar (Texas) and she got it. Her friend even reccomending her to strip so she can gets lots of money, and how stripping is just only business and that she needs to do that because I can't take care of her financially etc. Well, she started working at the strip bar and less than 10 days later she met another stripper from a different club. They went out and she met that stripper's male friend named "G". At this point she started to tell me that I am selfish and not wanting to help her when she needs me most and she said that she will need to "get to know" other people. I said okay, but tell me first before you get intimate with others so I could make arrangement. 10 days later she went out and din't return her calls for the whole nite. She came to my place about 9 am in the morning and just hugged me and wouldn't tell me where she was. She only said she hung out with her stripper friend and that was it. I was like 90 percent sure that she hooked up with somebody and saw this "G" number on her fone. She then went home, leaving me in faint hope that she din't do anything else. I also did a search on a fone number that shown as a miss call and found out that it was "G" home's number. The call was placed at 7:15 am. Couple days later, I was over at her place and overheard her talking to the stripper asking her if she had talked to "G". So my suspicions grew even worse. We still had sex but she didn't want to kiss me on the lips and I just din't feel quite the same like before. That same weekend, she din't return my call on Sat nite so I drove to "G"s house about 10:30 am Sunday and saw her getting out of the house with "G". That was my confirmation there on her b/s. She then started calling me like 15 times Sunday nite and left me messages like I am vile and pathetic for not returning her call. ((To add more insults to injury, I got laid off from my job and my boss din't even have enough money to give me like 5000 in back pay. I had to do online business just to keep things in check at the time)). I did end up calling her and seeing her. Then we din't have any intimacy for 2 weeks. I didn't know why I did what I did!? I felt like I did a lot by making her meals, laundry, even cleaning her place, driving her around etc. She went on to see a young (late 30s) sugar daddy in Vegas about 5 days later and even asked me to give her a ride to the airport. When she got back she deposited a few thousand dollars in her account and later that nite she started talking to "G" for almost an hour. She dressed up really sexy and lotion herself up really good to go see "G". I kept her from leaving that nite and told her that she could see "G" later but I wanted her to be around tonite. She reluctantly agreed and we ended up having bad sex. I didn't really want to eat her out at that time at all. The weekend came, and she hung out with her "friend". She then got another 5 grand wired from her sugardaddy so she could buy a car. The next weekend, she said that "G" coudn't do much to help her but she enjoyed him giving her oral sex and how nice of a person he was. I just told her she is totally messed up, unbelievable and nymphomaniac. She told me she din't want to see "G" anymore so I got sucked right back in with her. I went to help her get a nice used car with the sugar daddy's money. She said she wanted to be with me but I just didn't make much money. I told her I am working to get my RE license and I would make lots of money to take care of her if money is what makes her feel secured and she din't have to sleep around with guys to get them to marry her for paperwork. I guess that didn't mean much to her because she spent a nite with a customer from NYC and he gave her a grand. She said she only did that otherwise he would spend it on other girls (!). I felt a big hurt in me and really wanted to just scream to her that she was becoming a whore and a slut and there were better methods of making money even if she din't have the proper immigration status. Btw, I do wear protection when I slept with her. I know at this point that this is a very unhealthy relationship but I guess I still want to "save" her. She is on a path of self-destruct and she serve money and she didn't mind being treated as an object. Her ex stripper friend even told me that I needed to do my own things and that she only wanted to find a rich guy to support her to singing stardom.The thing that might keep me around her is that she constantly saying that if I can take care of her where she only needs to go to school and have a couple grand to live on a month she never had to do any of this stuff. :o(((She went out on her b/day with her stripper friend on Tue. nite and din't return my calls. I am still thingking she was with "G". But she told me that her current stripper friend took her to a very nice hotel to hang out becuase she met a client who paid 2 grand and she wanted to come with her as a security and she slept in a separate room. I finally got thru to her friend at 5 am but the fone was hung up as her friend said that she would pass the fone to her. I made her swear (she will be poor forever) to me that she din't do anything that nite but deep down inside I think that this is way beyond trust. I want to leave her but still have one foot on the platform. I am trying to sell my house and looks like her sugar daddy might buy that for her. It is a cheaper home (40 grand condo) but that is not really the reason that I want to stick around. I do care for this girl and don't know how and what to do to put some sense into her mind or to get to understand what the hell she wants in life beside money and a liberal attitude on sex.
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broke up, cheap, fiance, her ex, money, my boss, oral sex, stripper Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lovestrangelove +, writes (19 December 2008):
lovestrangelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI moved shortly after this post.
Thanks DearCupid.
Btw, Karma surely knows to return.... This woman got conned out of 15 grand. A swindler tricked her into invest the money in "oil business" and voila!
A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (4 February 2006):
 I agree with fairyagenl. Sweetheart, this chick is a hooker, she will use you for as long as you are useful to her, then she will chew you up and spit you out.
She's one of those crazy women who do crazy things and, I think you know this in your heart, you will be best off out of her crazy life.
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (3 February 2006):
 I want to state something very clearly....
This girl is BAD NEWS for you & all that she will ever offer you, is pain & humilliation!
She only cares about money and what she can get out of people .... she only cares about herself!
You need to break all ties with her right now, as there is no happy future anywhere, or any time, with her for you.
You seem like such a decent and kind person... you need to be with someone who can appreciate you for who you are & not for what they can get out of you.
She is playing on your feelings to get sympathy from you,
she is a liar, a manipulator and she is prostituting herself right there in front of you!!and even admitting to you what she is doing, in detail... this is just sick!
This girl does not know the meaning of caring ...
She certainly does not care about you, that is plain to see.
I am so sorry ... it is not always easy to deal with, but... send her packing and let her sugar daddy deal with her... she will leave him and move on to some other poor sucker when she has used him to her full advantage, and he will probably be left broke when she is finished with him.
Be Strong and do what you have to do... SAVE YOURSELF!
Good Luck & Take Care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): This lady (if I may call her that for just a sec) is looking for security from a man....any man apparently and she's prostituting herself to get that comfort. She's playing you like a card game and the sooner you get far far away from her the better off you will be. You sound like a very caring guy....there are plenty of females out there who would love a man like you. You have to see it for what it is my friend!!! Convenient.
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