A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story short: This guy and I were classmates for a while at our college, so I routinely added him on FB, not thinking anything much about it, since I did not like him at the time. We started talking and, unexpectedly, we immediately clicked- at least in my opinion; we have had very long coversations as well as shorter ones, but ended up talking to each other nearly daily. He mocks me playfully and I do the same, we joke about how much we dislike talking to each other -but he can't help himself-, he implied multiple times that I have a crush on him/am in love with him, which I of course denied. Here's the catch: after about a month of this, while talking about other issues he came to tell me about 'a girl he's hanging out with', as he called her, who turned out to be his girlfriend of seven months, which he only told me after I asked him directly.I don't go for taken guys nor do I wish to be the other woman, but feelings have already developed and I find it hard to let go of it now. In the meantime, when he went on vacation, he failed to mention it was with her -I found out through other means- and he never even mentions her to me, to the point where I wouldn't even know her name, if it was for him. After he got back, he asked me to see him to grab a coffee together, I did not give a definite answer to that -seeing as this situation is confusing to me- and he ended up cancelling last minute, saying he couldn't make it because of some family issue -rather fishy sounding to me. Again, last week he asked me to go to the meeting of a club he's really into at our college- which I did do, figuring it would have been better to see him in person again after all of this to lay the cards on the table. I could tell he was seriously surprised I had showed up, slightly embarassed at first, with the typical hair touching thing he does, but at ease after just a minute or two. We talked a bit, he tried to pop in on my conversations with his friends too, he stared at me while talking to the crowd in the room -though that could be because I was sitting in front of him-, I caught him glancing at me several times while others spoke as well etc. By the end of the meeting, he caught me outside and asked me if I would have gone to the following one, insisting on me going when I replied I wasn't sure, and then stating I absolutely need to go to the show they're having. He seemed like he wanted to talk to me- choosing to walk downstairs instead of taking the elevator, isolating himself from the group to talk to me and even asking if they needed to go right then to a guy who called him up as we were leaving. He laughed when I spoke, we had still a bit of our banter going on even with such little time and he kissed me on the cheeks about four times as we met/departed. So I suppose my questions are...could he actually like me or am I just making this whole thing up in my head? Should I keep going to these meeting? In short, what am I to do? Again, I have no intention of becoming his side dish or anything of the sort, but if he did leave his girlfriend, I'd probably try and date him. I don't want to ruin his relationship either, as I feel that would probably just backfire- but I'd lie if I said I don't want for them to naturally fall apart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): First things first: thanks for your time and the reply. The point is that I don't want him to be unfaithful to her with me. I wouldn't do anything with him until he's not single as well. So far, we really haven't done anything that really does cross the line of 'friendly' per se and I guess what I hope for is for him to realize, in time, that he likes me and that we'd be a better match while keeping things between us on a friendship level still. In a perfect world, leaving her and then asking me out would follow. I do realize this sounds quite naive of me to hope and that there's a chance that a) he may not even like me that way and b) that he'd just want to use me as the other woman, and I'm surely going to try and see things clearly and not let my feelings get in the way.As far as the meetings thing goes, I decided I'm going to attend some of them and a few events, but I don't really have the time to go there 2/3 times a week as of right now. I'm glad you know how I feel though. :)
A
male
reader, PrinceCharming +, writes (7 September 2011):
Well your problem here is your missing the obvious part ( its ok i do this all the time) if hes not being faithful with his girl friend then why would he be faithful to you? Do you really want a guy like that? I think he likes you,and dont go to the meetings because of him go there because you want too and your interested in them. I lol-ed at your "naturally fall apart" i have so been there before i know how you feel :)
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