A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help, I've been putting on weight and I can't stop. I've got myself into a comfort eating cycle and it's making me feel really down. I've got exams coming up and I'm feeling really stressed, plus I have my job which is really busy at the moment. I get so tired in the day and in the evenings that all I do is eat and study. Then there's christmas coming up and that's just going to be a food-fest. The more I eat the worse I feel about myself and the more I eat. I'm in a vicious cycle and I can't seem to find the motivation to get out of it. I'm feeling disgusting and my boyfriend doesn't help by telling me he loves me no matter what. It's not about wanting to be skinny, it's about wanting to fit my own body and be fit. I'm not exactly big, but I've a feeling I could head that way unless I make a change soon.Does anyone have any tips for getting started and to keep that motivation going? I'm almost (not quite yet, but I might be soon) a size 12 but I want to get back down to a size 8. I'm only 5 foot tall so it's not an unhealthy aspiration. Has anyone else out there been able to loose weight successfully? I know it's not as much of a big deal as some of the other problems on here, but I really feel a bit lost :(
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male
reader, Jason Michael  +, writes (22 December 2010):
Dear anonymous, there are a number of things that we all have to realise about ourselves. We are beautiful. We all have our limits and our weaknesses. Eating is a weakness for many people, and compulsive eating is a reaction to stress. It is not about the food. Remember that Freud says that this is merely a drive (you are eating in order to satisfy a desire). This desire is not the size 8 (though no doubt you will be a size 8 again). The desire is to escape the "stress" (smokers do the same).Eat regularly, and cut the snacks. Eat reasonable portions and get regular exercise (no one can do this for you). Speak to someone about the stress and take healthy measures to reduce it. Good stress reducers are: walking and running, talking with people about the stress, meditation etc, and (happily) sex. Study is vastly important, but don't let it destroy your life - the point of study is to improve your life, so don't let it ruin it.Know that "thin" is a modern construct of beauty, it is not the end of the world - find reasons to be delighted with who you are, and why you want to be you (not a size, a "you"). The boyfriend is trying to support you in this, so give him more credit - to most men size doesn't really matter either. He loves you (the "you" of who you are). Best of luck with the exams.
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