A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I will be celebrating my 2 year anniversary in 2 months. I have had a major decrease in my libido....my sex drive comes and goes and it is extremely hard for me to get 'wet' easily.A few years ago I began doing laser hair removal in my bikini area and on my 3rd session, it went wrong and I got burnt! It was extremely painful. It was about 8-9 months before my wedding. I had gashes in my vaginal area, burns...it hurt to pee, let alone be intimate.I recovered from that shortly before my wedding, but I am not sure if it is because of that time, my libido has dropped significantly. And if you knew me before, I was very sexual and always horny and ready for sex. My husband and I were animals and we had amazing sex. I used to be more into oral sex and trying different positions.However, now sometimes I feel like it is a chore on MY part. And I don't easily get wet anymore....during intercourse I do. But any hand or oral sex takes a long time to stimulate me. I did gain some weight after my wedding and have recently lost 25 lbs, so I found after losing that weight I became more confident again and feeling sexier....but I am still wondering why I don't get wet anymore like I used to?Please HELP!!!
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anniversary, horny, libido, oral sex, ready for sex, sex drive, vagina, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your replies.
I am 'into' my husband...lol....because like I said, when we are having sex, it is amazing and hot and I get into it.
I am thinking weight has played a major factor, because once I lost 25 pounds, I felt sexier and was getting back into the swing of sex. I am still not completely at my sexual level I used to be at.
But I do agree with the idea of getting too comfortable, and my husband and I have discussed that. Unlike many other couples we know, we have no problem going to the washroom in front of each, passing gas, burping, etc....may be that has taken away some of the sexiness? lol!!
Either way, I know that it will get fixed, somehow, I don't think I am too worried anymore. Especially after research and talking to so many people.
Thank you all for your replies!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Or...
Maybe you're just not hot for your boyfriend anymore. You are young and you just passed the 18 month honeymoon stage.
I know commited couples (not married) whose sex lives have just sort of flat lined right around the 2 year mark. It doesn't mean you should blame yourself or grasp for a physical reason...it could just means things are getting comfortably habitual. Which is no reason to break up with him either if you love and appreciate him.
So I will give you advice that seemed to work for the couples I knew: Take a vacation, take some time off, watch some porn to get some ideas, get jealous. Sometimes the context of sex can make a big deal in your ability to enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 There could be lots of things going on.
This could be psychological, from the bikini incident or it could be because of body issues. Are you still attracted to your husband? Does he treat you well?
You may want to try exercise, getting the blood flowing is a natural endorphin releaser and might put you more in the mood for sex. Also try to do new things with your husband -- go on a trip, see a movie, go out to fancy dinner, go dancing, etc. After two years of marriage, you can sometimes hit a plateau in terms of interest in one another.
Sex is important to men (we tend to use it as a health monitor for our relationships) so please don't view it as a "chore". It'll rub off on your husband.
Finally, you may want to visit your OBY/GN for a checkup. Explain to them that you are experiencing libido issues. They may have come up with a reason from a physical standpoint. They can also check your hormone levels and offer help in that regard.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Yes it is a strong possibilty that the reason lies with in the time you got burnt. It may be a phycological thing or else you may have cause some nerve damaging to that area. If you feel this might be the case maybe you should visit your local health clinic and get yourself seen to.
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