A
female
age
36-40,
*CFocus
writes:Every time my bf and I try to have sex it is painful to the point where intercourse really dont take place. I like foreplay but it doesnt last long enough to get me very excited then we go straight to sex, but its painful. Is it that hes to big for me or am I not relaxed enough?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Your welcome sweetheart.
The fact that he is excited is a compliment, you just have to take him in hand and little that's all
You'll be fine,
A
female
reader, CCFocus +, writes (2 January 2010):
CCFocus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice and I will take everything into consideration. I will keep u guys updated. Thanxs
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 January 2010):
 Sex isn't just for the guy. If he's doing something you don't like or that hurts, you have no obligation to continue. Make him give you the foreplay you want. If you're not getting enough foreplay (most women require an average of 20 minutes to become fully aroused according to surveys) don't have sex. It doesn't matter how excited he is. If you're not ready and he's hurting you, he'll just have to wait! Delayed satisfaction will make it way better for him anyways. Like someone else said, you're not a hole in the mattress. If he wants instant gratification, he'd be better off masturbating. What's the point of sex if both people aren't enjoying it? Tell him what you want. If he still won't give you what you need, you may need to find someone who will.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Thanks for the feedback; as he cares for you in other ways, try to get him to take his time. Why rush things and end it too quickly?If he has the urgency with him, give him a blow job first to take the edge off his passion. Then, instead of rolling over and going to sleep, he should give you tender and gentle erotic massage all over your body - ending up at the naughty bits not going straight there!He then needs to stimulate your clit and g-spot (does he know how to find it?) for some time, giving you a few orgasms first before even thinking about penetrating you.If after all that you are not relaxed and soaking wet, go for the K-Y jelly! If you don't have that in the US, it's a water-based lubricant.Good luck, and let us know how you get on with your man-training!
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 You both need some general knowledge about foreplay. It is here.
1 In general people think that foreplay means it is only warm up work, where as intercourse is real and big work. Foreplay is useful to achieve hard erection for male and vaginal wetness for female. The big thing or most enjoying thing is 'intercourse' which means, vaginal penetration through male's sex organ. Or it is pumping motion to male's sex organ by vagina. It is worst illusion. It is the sure way to bring the result, you complaint about.
2.But, still worst part is that most people have no idea about 'sex pleasure', which particular experience be termed as 'pleasure' is always remain as implication. Just smooth and jucey touch note by mind is all charasteric for successfull and full-filling. This is even deadly illusion, because it never allow to live real life heaven possible to men only.
This is real.
1.Foreplay is all full-filling act.
2 Sex experience, of course cannot described as it is but we can give idea through symbolic description. Then the experience is a wave of current spread almost all part of body. It is as if body is electrically charged. Current with low voltage experienced as spark light...in lips to lips kiss, or hugging. Current with high voltage is almost highest height of pleasure, termed as orgasm, with the suck of sex organ either male's or female's. Ofcourse, good play start in slow motion with mutual response to the above described current, and not by asking how you feel? Response means response to the current one experience in partner's body. There are many factor that work as inspirator...like good and poetic talk about love, feeling, about earlier exciting experience...and if both were total free...then they can discuss past sex act with other paretner..that can help to increase voltage of current...pleasure is to be understood as 'light', symbolically. right?
Such sexual act is known as 'enlightening'...But last and detrmining point is this: It is only through controlling ejaculation, one can get such experience...otherwise not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): I didn't see your follow up before I posted.
Excited can be good, I would get him to cum first, then let him move onto foreplay with you, and by the time you are ready for intercourse, he won't be in such a hurry and everything should good
Have Fun
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): I would say your not relaxed enough.
Get him to slow down, sex isn't a race. Tell him you want more foreplay.
Sweetheart, at the end of the day it's your body and you know when you are ready for intercourse to take place so take control and don't let him in until you know your ready
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A
female
reader, CCFocus +, writes (1 January 2010):
CCFocus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe cares for me and the only thing is when he gets excited hes ready to go. I like all type of things but if its done not the way i like it it will turn me off fast.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): No, it's NOT your fault. He is inexperienced or uncaring; or both. If he doesn't know that good sex starts in the mind before he even gets to foreplay, he is a moron and disrespecting of women.He is using you as a "hole in the mattress", an assisted wank with little or no regard for your pleasure.If you cannot train him, I'm afraid you will need to leave him or forget about sex with him.What is he like in other aspects of your relationship? Does he care about you, are you close and intimate when he isn't after sex? Or only "fond" of you when he wants to get off?If you answer these questions, and any others that I've forgotten to ask(!) I will get back to you and try to help you plan a course of action.
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