A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry its a long one but I think I need to say the whole story for this one and apologies i dont normally write these type of things.I met my girlfriend(lets call her anna)ten months ago and weve been going out for eight i met anna at work course we got put on a small task together and got along really well it was only five minites but right after that task we had a lunch break and she came upto me and goes so what we doing for lunch? i jokely said we? nah me is going out but you can tag along if you like we had a good lunch together and then she gave me her number and said keep in touch we can meet up for a drink sometimes we returned back to the course and then when it finished we spent the rest of the day together i also found out she had a boyfriend at that time but it was more of a friend thing. A few weeks we were texting eachother quite abit and then anna told me she broke up with her boyfriend so I started thinking maybe I have a chance with her i didnt do anything right away as she just broke up so after a month I texted her a couple of times asking if she wanted to meet up she said yes to both times but one time she stood me up the second time she said she got stuck at work so I put it down to her not being interested and thought ahwell i tried shes just not interested in me I went away for a long weekend and on the first day out anna texted me asking if i wanted to meet up for a drink when i come back? i said yea sure that day she rang me saying she was stuck at work but she was defentaly coming she turned up but we choose to go for dinner and a movie during the movie we got really close when it was time to say goodbye I looked at her and was just about to ask her out when she kissed me and said yes i will its like she knew what i was thinking didnt even have to say it she thanked me for a wonderful night and she got in a taxi home. Then the first three weeks passed and each time i asked if she wanted to meet up she always said she was working or was busy i then just asked anna if she wanted to be with me or not? anna replied with yes i do but I think i rushed into it im not completely over my ex yet and then she told me that she liked me alot and didnt want to say no as she was worried I would find someone else but she also mentioned at the time it was a crictial time for both our works as we both had important visits coming up and we couldnt get time off together but promised things will get better soon.After that conversation we met up and then shortly afterwards our work visits were out the way we started spending abit more time together and things were getting better slowly then things went back to the way they went i said to her I thought things were gonna get better? As at the time i was in a bad mood Anna said to me slowly and then promised she will spend atleast one day a week with me cause for me that is enough and then she also said she will ask her friend to get me a ticket for me for new years eve as shes going with her friends i said well you could always tell me the place where your going and il just buy my own she then goes il find out i started thinking you should know where your going atleast i kept asking her whats the name and she goes il find out i promise but never did. We had our work christmas do coming up and we spoke about it and she said im going to spend some time with my store and spend sometime with you and i said thats fine as i want to do the same so it came to the night of the christmas party she heard that i arrived anna went looking for me and asked a guy I didnt even know where i was he said who? and she started to walk off i called her she came upto me gave me a hug and a kiss and said il spend sometime with you in abit i was like sure as i just arrived and i wanted to have a look for any familar faces i knew i started to hang around with a group of people i knew and also anna knew she came upto the group said hi to everyone but ignored me im like ok... so i headed off to the dance floor and there was anna messing around with her store dancing with the guys from her store i was there for two hours and she didnt spend anytime with me i went upto her and asked her for a dance she goes nah im ok at the moment so i said ok whatever and she then goes fine il spend sometime with you she spent all of five minites before she ditched me for other people another hour or so passed and went upto her said hi and she goes hi what you want? i said well I was hoping to spend atleast some of my christmas party with my girlfriend anna then goes yeah later i said its been later already so i walked off to the bar to get a drink she then goes why you being like this? I then told her what happened time with them and some time with me? i then also told her how she just completely brushed me off all night like who she didnt want me to be there then anna said you gotta learn to trust me i told anna i did trust her and then she said let me spend abit more time with my store and il spend the rest of the night with you but unfortuatly that never happened as she drank too much and was out of it and ended up having a panic attack about a few things going on i was taken to her and wanted to try to calm her down but she didnt even want to know me then and i just felt like giving up. The next day i rang her to see how she was feeling and to ask her what was going on with last night and the way i felt i was mistreated she apologised for the way she treated and said she still has alot of growing upto do and said il learn to treat you better but she also said il understand if you want to break up(she also said this at the christmas party aswell while i was trying to make her feel better)we aranged to meet up the next day to exchanged our christmas presents but when i was about to leave anna rang me saying sorry I cant meet up today how about if I post them to you? I said well that isnt the same and i said il rather wait til after christmas so after that phone call saying shes gonna treat me better she let me down right away. So christmas has been and gone and this guy on annas facebook put as his status my girlfriends name with love hearts and this smiley :3 i googled it as i had no idea what it ment and its ment to repusent cuteness im like ok thats weird it wasnt the first time he has done somthing like this i saw a few other wall messages he wrote but they werent as weird as this one a few days after he then put as his status thinks anna is hot and then tags her i saw this and im like ok thats defentatly not right then a few hours later found out that he was going to the new years eve thing which my girlfriend is going to im like hhmmm so I asked her if she wanted to stay round mine before she went off on new years eve she goes il think about it but then said i cant then I decided to confront her about this guy she goes oh he just fancies me he fancies every single girl that walks the earth its ok he doesnt have my number even tho he has asked for it and said i was thinking way too much into it I also asked her about new years eve and she said you can come if you want im not stopping you but to me it felt like she doesnt want me there before we ended the phone call she told me to get the following monday off and she said shes coming down to see me for a change and spend a whole day with me.To me this relationship feels all one way i seem to give and she just takes and rarely gives everyone says i should leave her and find someone better but i really do like her but i dont know what to make of this relationship anymore and was hoping to get some outside thoughts and advice away from family and friendsThanks for your help and thanks for reading.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Break up, stay friends and find someone else who will return your affections appropriately. You did your best with this girl. Unfortunately, things just didn't 'click'. Move on.
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