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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Help, I'm so confused.I split up with my boyfriend of 3 years a couple of weeks ago because I wasn't in love with him anymore, but still cared about him as a best friend. I had also met someone else who I was really attracted to which just reinforced that I wasn't happy in my relationship. So now I am seeing another guy already and I am feeling weird about things becausea) I slept with him only a few days after splitting up with my boyfriend (we had known each other around 6 weeks....but only confessed feelings to each other around the same time I split with my ex). Actually the sex was amazing but I probably should have taken things slower? b) This guy is really into me, and we have already been talking about how much we like each other and planning stuff for the future. He is really sweet, gentle and romantic and really is the perfect guy. However, I feel like I'm rushing into things with him and scared that he might be a rebound guy, even though I do really like him.c) My doubts about him stem from the fact he is completely opposite to my ex, who was outgoing and we had everything in common and wouldnt stop making jokes and talking....whereas this guy is a bit quieter and we don't have that same 'fun', but we are much more attracted to each other physically and 'emotionally' i guess...Now my instinct tells me to 'slow things down' with this guy, but its hard as I don't want to hurt his feelings or appear fickle (i.e. i've told him how much I like him so many times and how amazing he is etc) and I AM really attracted to him (not just sexually) like when we are together we can't stop cuddling, kissing, giggling.....just that usual stuff, but it is quite intense feelings (lust?!) and I do think he is a wonderful person.So should I just go with the flow and stop worrying, or do you think I should slow things down/talk to him about it...Maybe I am worried about what people would think aswell...I haven't told anyone about this new guy for this reason (also cos all my friends are friends with my ex too).Is it bad to dive straight out of one relationship and into another?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): You mentioned that your previous relationship was over before it actually ended. That you were more like best friends and that the love was gone; in that case:
My suggestions is: Go for it, enjoy!
Value and aprreciate what you have discovered with this guy and do not look back.
You are living your life for yourself, stop worrying about poeple.
AS long as you are being TRUE to yourself and your new boyfriend. DO not PRETEND, as it will backfire.
IF you have any DOUBT, talk to him, suggest to take things slower; if NO DOUBT; I SUGGEST: Value and aprreciate every day and moment of happiness!
YOu seem a responsible person and will know what is rigt or wrong.
Be cautious, be safe, but ENJOY!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, charley  +, writes (18 June 2008):
I think that it all sounds great but remember your coming straight out of a 3yr relationship and u haven't had any me time. I think sometimes people need time alone. its all nice finding someone you have connected with but do want to get into anything serious. I think you should slow things down and have a talk with your new friend.
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A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 I think it sounds great to me. Who cares about the fact it happened fast. That just means you don't have to be lonely. I think opposites attract in many cases. I would just keep doing exactly as you are and don't give anybody any reasons or excuses about why you broke up other than it just wasn't working out for the long haul. good luck
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