A
female
age
30-35,
*essmca
writes:Okay so my boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. A week after he broke up with me he started to date this girl. And my head is getting mix messages cause he's getting his friends to talk to me and ask questions about this guy I'm kinda interested in and about this earrings my ex got for me. When he broke up with him he didn't want to, he did cause his friends and family wanted it. He was crying on the phone with me and he said it would be better to wait a couple years until we are with each other again. I know he still cares about me, I just know it. I am still in love with him and I know he has feelings for me. But he's dating this guy right now that seems better then me.. She plays volleyball, she has a ton of friends, she seems like one of the really popular nice girls. It kills me. On Facebook he commented on a status and said he currently hated me cause he thought I was going to this concert just to piss him off. So I'm so confused.. I'm not trying to, I want him to know I still deeply care for him but with out being all stalker-ish and depressed all the time. So on the 17th when we go back to school for testing I'm going to wear these expensive earrings he bought me. I'm in love with this guy.. I want him back, but his parents don't like me and one of his friends is trying everything in his power to get my ex to hate me and stay away from me. He hates us together. My biggest fear is that he will fall hard for this girl, and I'm praying that won't happen and they won't last long. I have no control over it, but all I'm doing is praying and waiting for it to happen. I feel like a creeper cause I keep looking and checking his facebook almost everyday to see what he's doing and how him and his gf are doing.. I need advice on this whole situation.. Please help :(
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female
reader, LisaSE  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 Based on your description of his actions, I'm definitely thinking he's still in love with you. Here's my suggestion:
You need to tell him you still love HIM! And, that although you don't want to come between his family & friends and him, you can't be tossed around based on their influence. Tell him you'll give him time to think it over and make his decision. (DON'T give an actual time constraint though! The pressure of a ticking clock won't help.)
BUT BUT BUT! If he decides that he wants to date other women while making his choice, than let him know that you deserve the same freedom without his snide remarks online and his friends nosing around for him. If he has a hard time digesting that, then tell him he's already made his decision, but is too scared to confront his influences and be a man about it! (At this point, you can be a little bit more mean if you want :D! If he's made his decision by not being able to stand seeing you with another man, he's pretty much stringing you along and if you settle once, he'll think you're ready to settle every time! You need to be tender and loving, but you need to be strong for yourself!)
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