A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 turning 16 in May. I have never had my first kiss not even a peck. I've had 1 bf before.The fact that i haven't been kissed has always made me insecure, but lately i've felt terrible. What's wrong with me? I feel so ugly and unwanted. My ex tries to help me saying nothing wrong with me but there is. He says i was too shy that's why he didn't kiss me. But i feel i was just too ugly. He claims to be still attracted to me, but its not helpin me i've also had low confidence and self esteem. But im feeling worse thinking about my ex and not being kissed. I know there's bigger problems in the world, but it's been gettin to me so much i feel terrible. Advice much apprcieciated.x.
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confidence, insecure, my ex, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): kissing isn't a big deal. but it is important to relax. when the right moment comes it comes.my first kiss was when i was 15 it wasn't with a boy i properly fancied and i wanted to know what the fuss was all about.kissing is not a birthday so i suggest you just relax and kiss someone! don't get all melodramatic about it, theres nothing wrong with you its just a kiss.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): You needn't worry, I'm almost 18 and i've never been kissed or had a bf before! I'm shy aswell, one of the main reasons why i'm in this situation. Everytime I find out a guy likes me I back off cos i'm scared of being rejected once they find out how inexperienced I am (Sad right?). I realised that unless I change this i'm never gonna find that someone (i'm not religious either). I guess you weren't ready to do anything and it's your ex's loss if he couldn't wait until you were ready! I'm sure we'll get our first kisses when we least expect it :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Have you heard the phrase "Sweet Sixteen and never been kissed"? It's considered to be a GOOD thing by most people. Stay sweet, Darlin'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I was turning 16 when I had my first kiss. I too felt upset about it and wondered why I hadn't been kissed yet... But looking back on it (now that I'm 20) it seems very small and I'm actually glad that I was that little bit older when I had my first kiss.
Try not to worry about it... Your time will come. And when it does you'll see that it's not such a big deal.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (15 April 2009):
 You are one in a million and there IS someone out there for you, there is someone out there for all of us - i was in the same boat as you at your age, I didnt have my first kiss until i was 15 almost 16 years old. I was extremely shy, i had chances with guys before then, but i found out later in life that people that fancied me when i was younger never made a play for me because of that shynes - i even stood in a room with my then best friend, at 14, his hand on my knee, obvious signs flying about all over the place than we fancied the pants off of one another yet still we neve rever kissed - my self confidence led me to believe he didnt want to and my shyness made him think he shouldnt, so i didnt know how he felt till 10 years later when the boat had long long ago sailed!
About a year after that incident, i met 1 person who changed my life, really brought me out of myself and showed me how to be a little further out of my shell and he made nme feel good about myself and yes, he kissed me - but it was gross!! You spend so many years thinkig about that first kiss and its never always worth the time wasted thinking about it because it eventually just happens whn you least expect it!
Try not to put so much pressure on yourself over a kiss - you are still young and it will happen, so just wait it out for the right person to come along and cherrish it when it comes - in 10 years time you'll be sitting there wondering what you saw in the first guy you kissed and laugh about it taking so long - most people dont get their first kiss untill they are the age you are now - theres a lot of hype and story telling and fibs that go on between girls and guys your age so theres nothing wrong, its perfectly natural and your time will come.
xx
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (15 April 2009):
 I didnt get my first kiss until i was 16 so i know how you feel. unloved, undesired, and unattractive. it hurts to think that know one will ever find you attactivebut there is hope. There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be strong. You cant let your shyness get in the way, you have to be confident and do things your not really comfortable with. I know its hard to talk to someone when you dont think they will like you but you have to, you have to reach out from your comfort zone and just say you look nice today. any small thing could make a world of differance.
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