A
female
age
36-40,
*herlvzpink
writes:Hi , I am going through a really tough time at the minute my boyfriend broke up with me the day before new years after nearly 4 years together and i am still absolutley devastated. things were bad for a few weeks beforehand, he felt we were drifting apart due to his hours at work when i did see him he wud fall asleep a lot. i hadnt complained about this n was just happy with time i did see him. he had mentioned i seemed unhappy which i disagreed with, n brought up future again as ther always been a disagreement about kids as he was certain he didnt want them. He also said he was finding r/ship hard with work n never getting to see his mates was a big issue. he said i was always funny when he did see them n i deserved better than what he was giving me. he couldnt give us 100 percent at min. I am still struggling to accept it all n struggling to cope to be fair am meant to be seeing him soon so i can understand better. I just cant imagine life without him. Everyone keeps telling me am gonna feel better but i dont still want him back. Any advice would really help thanks.
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male
reader, peaceseeker  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Fully accepting the breakup is the first step I didn't mention in my first post. Accepting that its over and done. I have and Im moving closer and closer everyday to getting over her.
Wishing you strength through this and wishing you love...
A
female
reader, cherlvzpink +, writes (2 February 2011):
cherlvzpink is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Peaceseeker nice to know am not the only one going through this at the minute , ur right i do need to cut contact but i havent.... i seen him yesterday to get things clearer as to what happened unsure it helped hoped cin me mighta changed his mind but i guess it didnt. I am going to try and make a clean break for it now :) x
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A
male
reader, peaceseeker +, writes (1 February 2011):
Hello cherlvzpink,Im going thru getting over a break up now so I know how you feel. It's really hard when it seems like all your friends don't understand what your going thru and say time will heal all wounds. You know they mean well but it doesnt ease the pain from the huge hole thats in your chest. It feels like your the only one who can understand what your going thru.It's really tough to imagine feeling good again and feeling like you'll ever be happy again. With someone new or in general. Break-ups are incredibly devestating, especially if your the one who got dumped and didnt want things to end. Its been almost 2 and a half months since my breakup and things are slightly better. I'm pretty sure she has moved on and is in a relationship with someone else and it hurts.The best way I've found in dealing with this is to cut off all contact with the person. Its gonna feel like your going thru withdrawls from drugs but cold turkey is the only way. Work on yourself and making yourself better. Keep busy, try and find the time to do some of your favorite things or find a new hobby that will occupy time. Altho time is gonna make you feel better eventually, right now its almost the enemy. If you just sit around and do nothing with your time, you'll find yourself replaying different scenes from your relationships over and over and over. The good times hurt and trying to figure out what you could have done differently or trying to sort out where the turning point was will drive you crazy!!! Dont let that happen. Go out with friends or family. Those who love you and will show you love. Remove all things that remind you of that person. Out of sight, out of mind is cliche' but its true. If you guys lived together, rearrange your place. Try and avoid the places you guys went to together. Remove that person from your life altogether and eventually you will think of them less and less and the pain seems futher and further away. You can also look up getting over an ex online. Some people offer free advice. It helps me.It may feel like you cant ever get past this and how could life be worth living without this person but this is not true. You will get past this as will I and hopefully we will find true happiness when we see it. I wish you the best...
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