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Still seeing my ex but thinking about seeing other men, how do I go about this without anyone getting hurt?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Recently decided to take a break from BF we have been living and dating each other for over 6 years. It was a mutual split but we are still seeing each other and still love each other very much. He has a very big problem with jealousy and cant seem to get past it. He is the one for me and I know it , but there is no convincing this man....I have tried everything except dating other men.

A friend suggested that I start dating other men at this point and not put all my eggs into one basket. She also had this problem and when she started dating other guys she kept it a secret.

My question is....

If he doesn't want commitment should I be concerned with hurting his feelings if he should find out I'm seeing other guys?

Should I just tell him this is what I plan to do?

I do not plan on having sex with anyone else, but I understand that some guys think that is impossible....

Should I tell the other guys that I'm still seeing my ex and exploring my options?

I know communication is key to any good relationship but , I fear that my ex will take this the wrong way....I just want to explore my options and if he really wants me he will have to ask me for marriage.

Any suggestions on how to do this so no one gets hurt? Have other women had any experience with this? Any advice on the proper way to do this rotation? I don't want to hurt anyone, including myself...Just not sure if this is normal. My friend seems to think everyone does this?

View related questions: a break, jealous, my ex

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2011):

The problem will not be if he doesn't want commitment - the problem will be if he does and you can't make your mind up, or you wind up falling for several guys at once and make a mess of it.

I have no problem with you dating other guys. In fact, if I were you I'd cut your ex out (he isn't suitable at all), and move on and not live in the past. But to be seeing an ex who has jealousy problems (and will not like you dating others), and then not being totally honest with other men that come along will end up with a lot of people getting hurt - you included.

If you meet a guy and he wants more, this is the best way to hurt him. So I think you need to be honest so you don't acquire a reputation. I also think that you would do much better to move on from your ex.

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