A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I were going out for just over a year about a year ago and we broke up because he didn't know what he wanted. Immediately he started seeing another girl who people seem to describe as a carbon copy of myself. Lately my ex has been trying to contact me online, via text to see how i've been and also to slate my current boyfriend. we used to speak about once every month/two months but these last two weeks he's been initiating contact with me almost every day. He added me on Facebook again and I found that he and his girlfriend had broken up (apparently around the time that he was speaking to me). Now he's continuing to text me to tell me that my boyfriend isn't good enough for me and that he always made a huge effort with me when we were together. I can understand what he means about my current boyfriend for several reasons. Any ideas why he would start contacting me so much? Oh, and he did tell me when we broke up that he never ever wanted a relationship again like the one he had with me, which makes no sense right now.Any help will really be appreciated :) xxx
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 August 2011):
I know what's happened.
He didn't know what he wanted last year, so you broke up. He went out with another girl almost immediately and that was it. You then started dating another guy, and you're with him.
Here we are, a year later, and he's broken up with his girlfriend. But you're still with your boyfriend, so now he's trying to wreck it because he's jealous that you've moved on and you're not pandering to him.
In other words, his ego is getting in the way.
I think though what's more disturbing, is that you're so willing to let it get in the way. Your post casts large doubt over your current relationship. Your ex is slating your boyfriend, and you've not stood up for him. Instead, you and this ex are now friends on facebook. To make it worse, you've actually agreed with your ex about your current boyfriend.
I think this will turn into a disaster for you. It's painfully clear that neither guy is suitable. Your ex isn't actually interested in you at all. He's just saying all these things because he wants to destroy what you have. then he'll just become his old self again.
Your current boyfriend's not suitable either, because you've effectively agreed with this ex that he's not good enough. You've let your ex slate your boyfriend and done nothing to stop it.
What you need to do is be alone yourself, so you can actually work out what you want for your own life. Neither guy is suitable.
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