A
female
age
41-50,
*abyboygirl
writes:I have this abusive ex boyfriend whom i been with him for 2 years and after i decided that i had enough of insults,pain and hurt i broke up with him then the drama started as i never excepted he turned into a very obssesed person that may beg and plead cry to get back to him and if i dont accpet he may call me names or punch me till the day i reported him to police and he been warned no to contact me yet after few weeks he contacted me again with crazier drama i made my dad talked to him nicely coz i became very scared of him hurt me or something and he accepted this time not to contact me and now passed few weeks he didn't contact is it over coz im still scared as i leave alone and he is away now for vacation but coming after few weeks back to the same city i need to know will he try to contact me again even after he promised not to?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Full marks and Congratulations for leaving this abuser. You made the correct decision.
Your ex is not to be trusted.
Sadly it is likely he will try to contact you again.
An abuser is a arrogant loser, and he will attempt to abuse you again.
Even if you move away he is likely to seek you out, so staying close to your own family may be safer.
But you are going to need to put protections in place for you.
You are right to be concerned for your own safety. Don't go out alone for walks, take a friend. Have good locks on doors and windows. Make friends with all your neighbors.
Speak to the police about any other measures you can put in place to make you safer. Give the local Police a picture of this man.
Never believe any of his promises. His promises mean zero.
Do a lot of reading up on Domestic Violence, i know it is upsetting to read, but the more you know the better informed you will be. I hope you never become involved with an abuser again. You deserve better.
And remember the first abusive verbal rant or the first slap is the cue for you to leave a relationship before the abuse gets worse.
Do you already have a Restraining Order in place? I know you spoke to Police, but a Restraining Order is better. It gives Police right to arrest him every time he breaches the order.
Put the local Police number on speed dial so any time he contacts/approaches you do not try to reason with him, nor talk to him, you let the Police do the talking for you.
Change your phone number, but even after you do that please get an answering machine for your phone so that screens all calls. Put a message on the phone that is not your voice, so even if someone is dumb enough to provide that number to him he will not hear your voice on the recorded message, and record all messages, just in case they are required as evidence later, if he keeps trying to harass you or stalk you.
Domestic Abuse is a serious issue. no one is safe with a Domestic Abuser.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 I am very proud of you for breaking up with him! He sounds like a total loser and you are much better off!
Now is the time to keep yourself safe. If he calls, don't answer. Don't have anyone talk to him for you, because then he learns he can still get your attention. Stay close to your friends and family because they are the ones who care about you and love you.
Good luck on your journey. Things will get better day by day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): for one,dont be worried about if he is going 2 contact u again.dont even give him ur time of thought. promises mean nothin2 an abusive person. emotonal wounds take the longest to heal but will heal..noone deserves to be abused in any way period!!! if he loved you it wouldnt of happened! worry about you and healing yourself..dnt worry about him coming bak or contactn you, until or if he does!! andwhen that time comes stay away!! apologies mean nothing from the wrong person..you gonna be ok..love yourself! and you will allow the right people to love u bak!
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A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 I dont see how woman get into this issues, so easy to get in them yet so hard to get out of them. You gotta be stronger, if need be stand up to him. Change your number and I pray you can move soon so he wont know your own address. Tell your family not to talk to him he contacts them or ask for you. You gotta do that, you'll be scared and wont be able to be happy and live your own life. Cant get a new boyfriend because what guy is gonna wanna put up with that? Best thing about this situation is you guys dont have kids, you need to be thankful for that because that would make things EXTREMELY difficult. You gotta cut him off, be strong.
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