A
male
age
30-35,
*he badluck clover
writes:hi im back. ive been on here before. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-lost-and-numb-to-the-massive-pain.html that is my last question and this is a update of sorts. i took everything i got out of that and just bottled it up. now i seem to act like i used too. but unfortunately ive made a mistake somewhere along the line. ive been single for 3 months now. ive been working and goin thru my daily activities. but i still think about my ex. i cant stop thinkin about her. i havnt told anyone about what happnd or why we broke up but many of my friends both male and female know im now single. everytime that i do something or see something that reminds me of her i feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. now i have a bit of a problem here. im a good friend and have been the kind of person that people call when they are in trouble or need help with anything. my buddy lets call him josh. josh has a girlfriend. his girlfriend and i became friends after josh introduced us. we usually talk or b.s. around like normal friends. i tease her in a friendly matter and i am quite good at flirting so i know the difference between flirting and jokeing. i dont see her as a person to flirt with i see her as a friend a person who i make fun of just to get a rise out of her. i never flirt with her. she recently went thru a tragedy (her grandfather died) she knows about my past and how ive been thru many loved ones death's. so she has been talking to me quite a bit lately. i dont mind im her friend its what im here for. but about a week ago she asked me to come to her house around midnight cuz she doesnt wanna be alone. i saw the flags and told her i couldnt. then i called her boyfriend and told him that she needed someone to talk too so he should head over there and be with her. he thanked me and did so. i havnt talked to her since and havnt seen her due to the fact she left state to attend the funeral. now while shes been gone a girl i work with, yes she is extremely attractive and my age, has begun treating me differently. weve been really good friends and tease each other/joke around all the time. always enjoying each others company. now she is starting to treat me like a boyfriend. wich is weird because she has a boyfriend. even tho i havnt met him i wouldnt do anything like that. i dont know if you get a hint from this but i would never fool around or even flirt with another guy's girl. i dont know i guess it can be called a sence of honor or something but it wouldnt be right to do something like that. yet she has called me up in the middle of the night sometimes just to talk. she runs up to me and hugs me every now and then for no reasons at times. sometimes she just wants me to hold her saying "i just need somebody right now". i cant stop thinking about my ex the girl i thought i could be with till the end, and im getting all this attention. i still feel depressed over my ex who i thought i loved. i dont know how to ask this correctly but what the hell is going on with me and how do i fix this entire cituation without hurting anyone else or myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 September 2009):
 You're such a good friend, not to fool around with their girlfriends. That is something to be proud of.
You are getting all this attention, because from your changes and getting back to the way you were before, you've become someone people enjoy being around, and seems as if you have certain qualities that are attractive to women as well. Even though you're staying away from other guys girls, this is where you want to be.
The past can't be forgotten, what you've experienced will always be an experience. But you can learn to live happily and look forward to the next experience. Healing is a process. It's not easy, but moving forward with it every chance you get has a long term positive affect, where holding things in have a huge negative affect. Sounds like you're doing what you need to, just keep doing it.
Take care.
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