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Still jealous with past sex and love lives of partner.

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2010)
A male Philippines age 41-50, *corpionly stubborn writes:

Still jealous with past sex and love lives of partner.

What is the best way to refrain from being jealous on a present girl with her past sex and love lives??? Considering she did everything in sex, how would i convince myself that it is ok to accept her past... but i always visualize her doing everything in bed with her two two year boyfriends... one is a big football player??? Is her body that depreciated already?? Is she really that dirty by now??

View related questions: her past, jealous, player

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010):

Let me say you are on the right track by asking for advice.

You should never ever say that her body is depreciated, that is wrong. If she had cheated on you, this would be a different conversation. She had sexual experiences prior to you, PRIOR to you. Why should you dwell on somthing that happened in the past when you were not in the picture?

My husband has told me I am not "as valuable to him" because I had sex with one other person prior to him. You would not know how that feels to live with everyday. Please dont ever tell your wife this, or let her feel that way.

Have you been with anyone prior to her? How would you feel if she was saying these things about you? Respect your woman or you may lose her.

You need to look ahead not behind. What can you do about the past? Why are you dwelling on things that are unchangeable? Please look forward to a good life with her.

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A female reader, Colombian_Latte Colombia +, writes (15 December 2010):

Past is past... When you love somebody, you loved them as a whole... It doesn't matter what their past are. Unless, she was keep on talking about her ex-bf; that could be pretty annoying. If that is the case, then you have something to be jealous, but if she is into you, I don't think you have to be jealous.

Good luck amigo...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010):

Sorry but there's no fix. Most men are built to feel this way by nature.

Our civilization has spent a couple generations trying to tell ourselves not to feel this way anymore. But natural selection does not care how we would prefer to feel or how our relationships would work better. Natural selection only cares what benefited our ancestors back in the day. That was to prefer less experienced women no matter how painful it might make things for us.

It's like trying to fight any other kind of attraction or repulsion to someone or something about them. It will never stop being a struggle.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010):

Unless she contracted an std that posed a danger to you now, there is nothing about her sex life before she met you that you should dwell on or concern yourself with. Just as you have a past, so does she. Either enjoy what you have now or simply say goodbye and move on.

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