A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im at a crossroads, roughly three months ago my ex girlfriend and I ended our four year relationship. She was also my best friend. I still do not have any idea of where it went south and as much as i tried i never got a real explanation. We kind of agreed to take some time apart and any time i tried to bring up contact she'd flip out at me or just straight up ignore me. Too make this clear, Ive been giving her space everything like that waited a week at first and then after her initial reaction thought id try to call just to see how she was doing about a month later. So even with all that, I realize im still in love with her. The worst part is I do not have any idea what i did wrong. We go to seperate universities rouhgly an hour apart but we saw each other 2 - 4 days a week, which is a lot more than a lot of other couples do. I havent heard the reason why we broke up and why im getting pushed away. The only thing that caused some trouble in our relationship is that she thought we didnt have everything in common and because of that she wasnt sure if we could stay in love. I guess my mistake is that i never told her "love doesnt have to make sense and everything in common; you cant explain it."So theres a background story, way too long already but Im clearly still in love with her and its driving me crazy to not call her to not see her and i think that she may be interested in someone else now. This someone else used to be friends with her and then 2 years ago had been acting very selfish and they got into a stupid ignore phase. So they both ignored each other for 2 years and just didnt care about each other. I thought that was dumb as they were friends since they were 5 and that they were just friends. So somehow i got them to sit down 4-5 months ago and talk it out. So now theyre friends again and probably more again.Just realized what a long winded story this is. BUt essentially i need advice.Im pretty much blaming me for our relationship ending and i still have no idea what went wrong.Im not sure if i somehow got her interested in one of her ex friends.And most of all no idea anymore why i still love her, as you can see shes been so ungrateful the past couple of months treated me like garbage and i know i shouldnt love her after all taht yet i still treasure every minute i spent with her and still am holding out hope that itll get back to the good. Is there anything that I can do to approach any kind of reconnection, should i say how insulted i am at how ive been treated, do i try ignore it all and just try like hell to get over her.Is there past advice you guys can give me? Thanks in advance
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Thanks for the responses,
Yea I guess the part of me that wants to keep this going is becuase the good times were so good and i never really felt bad and i just cant understand how all that changed so quickly.
Again totally at a crossroads becuase a part of me wants closure and another part of me wants to wait.
O yea forget to throw this in there. The only real thing she said when we broke up is that it might not be a breakup forever she wanted time apart so we can totally appreciate one another, she said she didnt feel like she appreciated me as much as she should.
So that adds another dilemma because that way it left the door open and makes it even more impossible for closure.
Thanks again for the quick responses
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 my guess is she ended it because she and this "friend" had feelings for eachother and they developed into something more.but your right she should of at least given you an explanation as to why is ended you may as well let go of each and every little bit of hope you had left to hold onto with getting back with her because seems like she's moved on and now you should too.it'll be difficult hell course it will but you will get there and you'll find someone whom really truely deserves you and loves you and makes you soo happy :)chin up hun.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Dude,Can totally empathise with you. I went down that road too.Answer these questions honestlyCan you make someone love you?Would you want to be with someone only because they are scared to leave you?Does it actually matter who she is with now?Do you deserve to be treated like crap?What would your ideal relationship be like?I hope you were honst with yourself but totally understand if you werent, It took me two years to get over someone, pretty similar story.The way I look at it, I deserve better, I deserve someone who is going to want me beside her and want my love and affection as much as I want hers, You deserve the same buddy and you will get there.Dont bottle your emotions, talk to a friend, talk to us, there are no stupid questions, so post away, realise you will get through this and you will feel better. I gurantee that.Finally would you really want to be with someone who for whatever reason would respond to a problem by ignoring the person, I dont know dude sound like some really heavy stuf went down in ur exs past and you may have seen yourself as being her saviour ?? Well thats what happened me, and god did I feel stupid, Hope this helped
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