A
female
age
36-40,
*uchi_i
writes:I have had a beautiful relationship.We we met while we both were in London due to our work responsiblities.The four months we were together it was nothing less than heaven.He had to move to US after that and I had to return to India.Two days before he was leaving i found out he was vey much in contact with his Ex and even received gifts right below my nose.I found it as I was going through his phone just because I was bored.Not to forget he is an avid liar who managed to talk to his ex gf while I was in his lap and even shared the conversation they had saying one of my friend.I later found out it in his phone it was his ex gf.He cried all night..said sorry and told me he was trying to shed that relationship from a while and didnt tell me because he didnt want to loose me.After a lot of efforts..finally I gave in and we managed to move ahead in our relationship.Now it was a LDR with 11:30 hours of timezone difference.But he managed to pull it together.He even came just to visit me after 3 months.Now he came again after like 6 months of that incident and out of fear or insecurity I was again fibbling his phone.He said he finds it weird that I still don't trust him.(I have reasons but I know I should trust)I manage to see his email password and found he still in contact with his ex.Again we had a big fight.All over again he convinces me and make me belive his love for me.I was ok after two three days.The real problem start when he returned to US.I am paranoid again..I am insecure..I am scared.All the skeltons from past come and hover over my head and I accuse him of cheating every now and then.I know he is good guy but just can't help it.Am I overreacting? Should I let it go? I am quite convinced he is serious about us but I always was in past too when these things happen.Please advise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): He is not faithful and you should dump him and move on. You cannot continue a relationship where there is no trust. He is also hiding things, as the high security to ensure you dont crack the code.
A
female
reader, Ruchi_i +, writes (9 January 2013):
Ruchi_i is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am the original poster of this wuestion.Well a typo there I didn't manage to get the password and confirm he is still in contact with his ex but her name is still his password after like 1 year.I asked him about it and he was..it was just a name for him now and it didnt occur to him to change.He again apologised and after lot of efforts I gave in...but the monster in my head started playing up.I tried to hack his account and when i was unsuccesful I told him myself and apologised.He didnt show much concern or created any issue just laughed off.I again tried cracking yesterday and realised he built in an another level of security where the unlock codes will only come at his phone.When I asked about it..he said he doesn't owe me an explanation and its his lookout what his does with his email.The argument got heated up..and all the things from past came up.Am I still overreacting and should go easy on him?I was planning to move to his place to end this LDR.This is my first serious relationship and I feel mixed feelings of scare and maybe I am reacting too much
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