A
female
age
30-35,
*HANTELLAH
writes:Broken up with my ex earlier this year then again started dating for pleasure anyway. the problem is that whenever my current boyfriend is around i dont feel him its like he is annoying and boring me inside but i do love him so much its just how i feel and i really feel bad about this again when he is faraway from me i really miss him so much please help out i dont know whats wrong with me.For the break up between me and my ex it was because of his lies, selfishness, dishonest and cheating but i really loved him so much, i gave him all my heart but he left me in so much much pains therefore ended the relationship. So its like i am not interested in relationships anymore so it hurts me because my current bf is such a good caring supportive guy but my emotional feelings dont go with him whenever we are together but i love him so much and he is so much crazy about me its just that its like i am not interested and i am in a pretentious relationship with him. please people i really need help please, this is eating me and its putting me in a very fixed difficult confusion, it drives me madly.i have made up my mind with my ex its just that the pain is still inside me. And again its very difficult for me to tell my current bf how i feel about because i really dont where to start and thinking on how he will react afterwards. So its a lil bit stressing situation. In short its like my ex went away with all my feelings and loving its like he destroyed my life to hell because i am not interested in anybody, i dont feel to be in love again. I only told myself to be in love with Mercy God atleast thats how i planned my entire life.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 June 2011):
Hi there. It's possible that you went into a new relationship too soon, when you are weren't completely ready to start again.
After a relationship ends, it's often healthy to have a complete break from relationships for a while, and get to know yourself better.
And while you are on your own, have a think about what you want in a relationship and what you don't want.
It does sound like you weren't really over the the first guy when you met the present one.
The reason I say this, is because you seem hesitant to trust him and to really engage in the relationship fully.
As you seem unsure, it might be wise to have a break from this guy for a short time and tell him why - that you went into this relationship too soon after the other one.
Or, you could change the status of the relationship to being just friends, and over time see how it goes. In a couple of months, you will probably find that you are ready to upgrade it to boyfriend/girlfriend status again.
In other words, just slowing things down a bit - to being friends only - then see how it pans out, and progress it from there on.
You'll know when it's the right time to resume the romantic relationship again.
Good luck and best wishes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Break up with your current BF. You probably don't really like him.Forget your ex. Forget everything about your past.You say you love your boyfriend. Can you imagine spending your life with him? If you can, is it because you see him making all the moves first, or is it because you want him to be yours and pursue a future for you two.I almost feel like my ex could have written what you wrote. We had a very similar situation. After we broke up, both parties were happier.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): You need to sort yourself and your feelings out. cause three years on in my relationship and similar scenario as yours, I have devloped a lot of resentment and a lot of hurt and unwanted baggage. My girlfriend wasn't over hers, had a one night stand and weasn't over her ex and I do feel resentful that she put me through a lot. You need to take responsibility. You shouldn't start a relationship until your ready emotionally. Be fair with him and yourself.
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