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female
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anonymous
writes: ok so me and my bf have been together for a few months and things have been really rocky, this is due to me though.I split with my ex bf about 3 and half months ago we were together for about 8 months and i was so happy with him, and now i am so miserable everything has just been going wrong since the day we split.I got really upset last nite and my bf ended up walking out on me, he then came back to confront me and i had to tell him that i'm still hung up on my ex although i think he knew that already i'm always bringing him up in conversation and i dont even know i'm doing it sometimes i cant help it!!I'm still totally besotted with him at the same time i like my new guy, he has gone on holiday for a week so this gives us a break to think about what we both want, and if im totally honest i already know what i want and its not him.
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a break, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (22 July 2006):
let him go you are clearly still hung up on your ex be fair
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): Jeez this is very strange as the EXACT same thing is happening to me right now. Last night my new bf walked out after reading a diary extract I had left lying around saying that I was still in love with my ex and thought about him during sex. Tonight he was back and we talked stuff thru and decided to take things back a step and go slow. The thing is my ex hurt me very badly and there is no hope of reconciliation so it is stupid to harbour feelings for him, but that is the way of the human heart. Kiddo, I think we both know we are being unfair to the new guys don't we? The right thing to do is get out of it as Lostandalone said. But girl, I know it ain't that easy particularly if you like the new guy too. In your case if you really are absolutely sure you do not want him, then have the courage to go it alone until you heal from the last split. I think this really is your issue honey, it is easy to use someone new as a distraction and emotional crutch. I am back with my new man because I do have strong feelings for him and feel horribly torn because i feel that I betray him by having residual feelings for someone else. But as you really know you don't want your new guy then that is a different thing again. I advise you to let him go sweetie and focus on healing your own heart. He will get over it, after all it has only been a few months. Every day you stay in this new relationship against your instincts it will become harder to break free. Good Luck babe, and remember you don't need any man to complete you xx
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (21 July 2006):
 If he's not what you want then why prolong this whole thing. Have you tried to make-up with your ex? Maybe you moved too fast in seeing someone else not giving yourself time to grieve. Either way its not fair to the other guy for you go be with him and still harboring feelings for someone else. Be fair. Would you want someone doing to you what you're doing to him? The thing is if you don't want him leave him alone and let him find someone who does. Sort out your feelings with your ex and try to move on before starting again with someone else. You that much to them and yourself.
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