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Still have very strong feelings for my ex...

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2011) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female United States age 30-35, *abrielle42 writes:

I'm 20 years old and I've been dating a really great guy for a little over a year and a half now. I am in love with him and he loves me very much too, which he always lets me know. If things carry on this way much longer we will probably be married within 2 or 3 years(as soon as we have the money and jobs to support ourselves, right now we're both in school). He treats me very well, he's very loyal and committed to our relationship, and would do anything to be with me. He tells me almost everyday he wants to marry me.

The only problem is I still have some fairly strong feelings for my ex. We dated for about a year and a half and we've been broken up now for about 3 years. He broke up with me for someone else. Afterward we didn't speak or have any contact at all for two years. After he and the girl that he left me for broke up (they dated for about a year and a half) he Facebooked me and told me their break up made him want to get his priorities straight and that one of the first things he wanted to do was apologize for what he'd done. He had been my very best friend and he considered me the same and then had violated my trust and cut off all communication with me. It was very hard and I was very angry for a very long time. But about the time he contacted me again I was very much over him and not angry at all. I had just recently started dating my current boyfriend and felt like I had moved on.

I was happy to hear from him and glad to hear him apologize but that was it I thought. In the days and months following we exchanged a lot of texts and a few phone calls and some late night conversations that went maybe a little far considering I had a boyfriend. We met once for coffee and to catch up but then our contact gradually died down to just a few texts once every few months. I wanted to contact him more but I didn't want to annoy him or send the wrong message since I had a boyfriend.

I still feel very comfortable talking to him and find myself missing our conversations that I don't really have with my current boyfriend. My ex was the best friend I'd ever had but my current boyfriend is just my boyfriend. I love him very much but alot of the time I feel like there is something missing, some connection or mutual understanding that we don't have. We have a fantastic relationship otherwise though. I'm just confused. With my ex there was passion and understanding and a very deep friendship. With my current boyfriend there is security and trust and comfort.

I don't know exactly what to do. I'm not even sure my ex feels the same way about me but I'm VERY curious to know. When we do see each other from time to time though I always feel a sort of intensity between us and there is always an excessive amount of eye contact and blah blah blah. So do I go out on a limb and see what could come of a past relationship or stick with the great guy that sometimes leaves me wanting more? Sorry for the length of the question, that was as abbreviated as I could make it!

View related questions: best friend, broke up, facebook, money, my ex, text

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