A
female
age
30-35,
*skRosie
writes:I feel really down about everything in my life right now. My best friend is spending more and more time with this guy who she's shagging and isn't even her boyfriend, and I feel like she's forgotten me. I started my A-Levels in college in September, and I've hated it since I got there, but my parents won't let me drop out, even though i nearly died because of events which have happened there. The people who I called my friends, have now all turned against me, and I feel like I have no one. A few weeks ago my entire tutor group and tutor were laughing at me because i accidentally smacked the boy next to me (one of my ex-"friends") and he told everyone, (I was trying to get something off of the boy next to him, and he pushed my arm onto his butt). Anyway, now everyone laughs at me, and I really can't handle this.In the past I've tried talking to my head of year, but he just said "You're here for two years, deal with it". I feel as if I've got no one.I feel as though the whole world is against me, what do I do????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Sorry to hear you feel so down. It's true that we all rely on our friends when times are tough. When they let us down, it can hurt. So, what you need is a fresh start. You can't leave your situation, physically. But you can TOTALLY give yourself permission for a do-over. Don't focus on your past mistakes. Don't focus on the reasons you feel sad, angry or resentful towards those close to you. Find some resources you can tap into that will help you feel better. The first and best resource here is YOU. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. There is little to nothing that you cannot achieve if you put your mind to it. Look for the good in the current situation. Hand on butt. Bad in situation... embarrassing! Good in situation? Funny! Laugh a little! Laugh at yourself, those around you, the tragedy you see in the little things. It will help you lighten up a bit. Also, keep reaching out. It may take time, and a bit of strategy on your part, to build a network of people whom you can trust and on whom you can rely when the going is tough. If you want to HAVE a friend, BE a friend. I know. How trite. Seriously, though. A person who can laugh at themselves, a person who can see the good in life, who can find the silver lining, who is open without being a doormat, self-accepting and accepting of others, collaborative, open to learning... This is a person who will attract friends and colleagues, who MUST, because you have an ease of manner about you that others will be drawn to. Work. It's the great antidote to depression. Play. It balances the work. Think. Get your goals as clear as you can, and your values, aspirations, everything. Network. Be open to social groups, to church, to outings and parties where people gather that will give you a forum where you can connect and succeed. Avoid the polar extremes of extreme sadness (too much self-focus, too inclined to hold onto pain) and extreme apathy (they failed me, so I quit. I don't have to try anymore.) You SO CAN DO THIS!! Best of luck to you, and keep reaching out for help and encouragement, and keep offering it in return when you get the chance. It's hard to be young, but there is also an excitement about finding and fulfilling your potential! Focus! Wishing you the best success! Stacey
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