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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi I'm 17 and just getting over a hard break up with an older man who lied a lot to me. It's been a year but everything is still fresh in my mind. I've met a new guy and he's my own age but I'm worried that he'll only be interested in sex. If I do agree to start a relationship there's the problem of distance. 350 miles seperates us but he told me it was love at first sight for him and that he'd do anything for me even if that means constant trips to see me. I was instantly attracted to him but could it work? I'm scared he'll be like my ex and trick me then dump me after sex. I hate when guys say they're not like the rest and my new guy has said that to me and it makes me awkward. Maybe I'm paranoid but it makes me feel like they're trying to fool me. Please help! xxx
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female
reader, weeblondiehalfpint +, writes (30 December 2005):
The only advice I can give in this situation is that all guys are not like your ex, there are a lot of nice guys out there but as the old saying goes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and its kiss for a reason. The only way you ever know if a guy is with you for more than just sex is not to have sex with him if he backs off so what you found out what he was really like. Only take things as far as you are comfortable with a guy who really likes you will wait and will not want to pressurise you into anything. You are only 17 there is plenty of time to find your Mr. Right it doesnt have to happen right now.Take things nice and slow and good luck!!
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (30 December 2005):
 Dear,its normal to feel this way especially after being hurt. I must say u seem like a very reasonable girl not wanting to make the same mistakes and be trying to be careful and certain before going in deep. The past relationship u had should be taken as experience and a learning process.dont feel bad most of us have been through this and have grown from this.
If u really want to be certain he isnt just after sex as u indicated in your posting then it is advisable to wait abit and study this guy and get to know him abit before going into sex.
Please remember to talk to him about it and explain to him all u said here that u are trying to be careful cos u were hurt in ur last relationship and u would like to take thing easier to start with. He will understand and wait until u r ready if he really likes u.
All the best dear
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (30 December 2005):
 Well the only way you'll know if he is just after sex, is not to do it until you are 100% sure that he is commited to you!
Distance can be hard and trust will play a big part, just remember men have urges and if the 2 of you stay so far away from each other you need to know that he is trust worthy not just because of cheating, but if he does, is he safe!
Yes it's hard after breakups and some heal faster than others, but you will heal, even if it takes 10 years, you will get over him.
I had a boyfriend that i loved more than anything and I never really got over him and this was 3 years ago, I started accepting that he was out of my life after he past away last last year and i still miss him terribly!
The only thing that you is follow your gutt, not your really so much your heart cause your heart can play tricks on!
But you will be ok, I Promise
Hope this helped
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