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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 18 in less than a month and my mum still sounds weird about me dating.I've met a guy I really like but I'm too shy to tell my mum straight out because I know she'll be angry. I've dropped hints like putting his picture up and talking about him a little bit. She suddenly becomes very cagey and insists that I put a stop to his advances. When I try and talk about it and be honest she almost convinces herself instantly that he is forcing me and that I'm not interested. She just won't listen. My sister, who is two years older, is living with her boyfriend and she's been allowed to do whatever she wants since as long as I can remember. I am so jealous of my sister and her b/f as me and my guy have sat down and said that we would love to be like them and have our own place in the future. If my mum won't accept it we may have to see each other in secret. We would rather not do this but we can't not be together. Help! x
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (30 December 2005):
 Hi dearie, my mum was like that when i was your age and she allowed me freedom when i was 21!. parents never see their kids as grown up and they have a protective nature. I know it is difficult but u have to try not to allow your relationship with this guy affect that with your mum cos she is your mum and will always be there for u. I am not saying this guy wont stay with u at the long run but some guys do go away and we are left to fall back on family like our mum for support. They are always there for us.I wouldnt advise u to hide things.What i would suggest u do here is talk to her but with maturity. If u do this right she might just see u being grown up and matured.Tell her u really do like this guy. Dont argue with her if she objects just listen. No matter what she says u would have already told her what is going on and how u feel. Hopefully with time she will accept him in your life. All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): Your Mum is just trying to protect you she still sees you as her little girl and always will. The best thing to do is to be honest with her and tell her that you really like this guy and that you are being sensible, she may take a while to come round to the idea that you are growing up and there is nothing she can do about it, but dont hide your relationship she'll be quicker to accept your boyfriend if she sees him treating you well and she can come to view him as a source of happiness in your life.The thing about your older sister is that your Mum might not actually be as happy about that situation as she appears she may be regretting letting yout sister have so much freedom and would probably rather she was still at home not living with her boyfriend so she is trying to reign you in as a result of it.The only thing you can do is be honest with her she will come round and she will respect you for your honesty and will actually see you as more grown up than if you sneak around behind her back.Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): hello,ok so your mom is a bit overwhelmed by the fact that you have begun dating, and even found someone that you are interested in and is interested back in you. the fact remains that you are an 18 year old woman and it is normal for you to have a boyfriend at this age. does your mom want you to never ever date anyone? does she never want you to eventually in the future get married?i don't necessarily think that sneaking around is the best option. if she finds out (which mothers have a knack for) she will have less trust for you and your boy. so keep things out in the open. if you are really serious about this man that you are seeing, tell her so. explain to her that you like him a lot and you are a responsible adult capable of making your own decisions with regards to the men with whom you keep company. remind her that you respect her opinion as your mother, but you have to run your own life. my advice then, is to talk to your mother about this guy and why it means so much to you that you see him, and continue your relationship with him out in the open. i would also suggest bringing him around to meet your mom so that she has a chance to see that he is a great guy with honest intentions. by doing this, your mother will get used to the idea that you are grown up and you are at an age where dating is perfectly normal and acceptable. best of luck in your situation :) your mom is just afraid of you getting hurt..because that's what mothers do..but you have to know when to decide things for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (30 December 2005):
 Your mum will always be your mum and she is so much more strict on you because you are the youngest(i'm assuming)
You her little girl and she may just be scared of loosing you! Most mums are like that.
What you need to do, is sit her down calmly and like a grown up tell her how you feel! But whatever you do stay calm and don't start getting devensive or start shouting, the calmer you are the better!
Tell her how you feel about this guy and that he makes you happy!
It really helps a situation if you are open about it!
GOOD LUCK
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