A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 19 and still a virgin. This is really getting to me in a really bad way now. I dont really know what it is thats making me worry, i just keep thinking one morning i'll wake up and find that im like 40 years old and still in the same situation. Im terrified it wont happen to me, or if it does i'll mess it up because of my lack of experience. And sometimes i worry because i won't have the confidence to ask a girl out, and i'll miss the chance. Everyones like dont worry wait to lose it to someone who loves you, but that just never seems to happen to me. i never really meet any girls who seem interested. I really want to do this too, i mean im not obsessed with sex or anything, but i just want to enjoy my life and enjoy having a girlfriend and sex, like everyone else seems to be doing. sometimes i just think i should just hire a call girl or something and get it over with, which makes me feel absolutely awful.I feel like such a loser. How could i have got to this stage in life and have not done it? Its not like im bad looking or socially awkward or something. People say to me all the time that im handsome with a good sense of humour and that it will happen to me soon. but i dont smoke or drink or take drugs, and i hate nighclubs, and all these things seem to be the only way to get anywhere so far as i can see. Anyway i'd just ike some opinions/advice thanks :)
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confidence, drugs, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): I lost my virginity at 24. My girlfriend thought it was cute, she was happy to be the only one who had (and still has) had me. Trust me, the V-card has zero relevance when you find that special someone.
A
female
reader, Cami  +, writes (1 July 2010):
 Hey, well, I'm 21 and havent had sex. I havent had a boyfriend at all, never been kissed either. I have been waiting for that special someone my whole life, and havent paid attention to boys that have been interested in me in the past. I simply havent fallen in love. However, I'm starting to worry too because I cant seem to fall in love. I have liked boys but not enough to have a serious relationship. They always end up being a disappointment. Not because I'm asking for too much, just want an honest guy.
I guess that what I'm trying to say is that you should wait. The first time should be very special and you should share that experience with someone that you love and loves you back. When you meet that girl you'll know she's the one.
I know it'll happen to you, just be patient, she'll come around when the right time comes.
Meanwhile, enjoy life, go out with your friends and have fun. There's more to life than sex and relationships.
Hope this helps, at least now you know, there's other people in the same situation you are.
Best of lucks!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Well, I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin. I'm a virgin for religious reason though. Anyway, I'm so focus on starting my life after college, and that I just really have no desire to be in a relationship. So, if I were you.. I'll focus on the career, life, family, and friends for now.. Don't pressure yourself to get a date because you THINK you might be a 40 year old virgin.
And I don't smoke, drink, do drugs and hate night clubs as well. Nothing wrong with it. Enjoy your life with IDEAS and try not to soley focus on relationship. The more you think about it, the more you want it and go crazy about it.
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A
female
reader, blah89  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Right, i was 16 wen i had sex for the first time, i had it with a guy i was ttly into. Thought he was special, turned out i was wrong lol! Massive player! I regreted it ever since, about 3 months later i meet a guy that i spent 3 years with. Im now 21years old and i wish i had waited. Your still young, and i doubt you'll even make it to 25 without having sex, you said you dont go to night clubs and stuff, why not try going ski'n, bowling or even to a cafe. Nightclubs arent the only place to meet girls. P.s drugs are not the answer, nor smoking, it actually only attracks the wrong kind of girl! Be patient and confident.
I say this from experience! Because of my looks i have always dated idiots to full of thm selfs and the world need sum more sweety pies like yourself! Hope i helped x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Hey, well I'm 18 and a female and I feel the same. Alot of my friends have had sex but I haven't, which I feel embarassed about. I've told some of my friends that I actually have had sex because I thought they'd laugh at me or look down on me, although I wish I could be honest. I've read up so much about other people our age who are virgins and feel almost ashamed, and even though every single person replies and says being a virgin shows maturity and it's something to be proud of, I still just wish I could get it over with =/The oppurtunity has never arisen for me to have sex, and it makes me think that just because I'm not all slim and gorgeous, no one will want me. In a way, I want to wait for the right person, but what if I don't get a boyfriend for years to come? I'd feel so embarrassed.Anyway here's me blabbing on about how I understand but I'm not exactly answering your question! From what I've heard so many other people say, you get so much more respect if you save yourself for someone you care about and you'll regret just having sex for the sake of having sex so I suppose you should wait until you find that someone special and the moment will feel special too. And perhaps I should listen to my own advice :PI probably haven't helped you here but it may be comforting to know there are so many people in the same boat as you :)Penny. xx
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