A
female
age
36-40,
*icoleray143
writes:I am 26 years old with NO kids, recently like the past couple months i have been thinking of wanting a baby. But then i think 'not every women is meant to be a mother,' I still have at least 5 years of my life i want leave to myself and my man. I been liking pages on facebook that make cute baby clothes and that sell stickers for your baby bump. Thing is i don't understand these feelings, is it cos i see everyone around me having a baby and i am the only one who hasn't had a baby yet? How do i know if i would be a good mother or if i am mother material? and also my man he hasn't really came out and said he wanted a baby, he has mentioned it. How do i get it across to him that i might seriously want a baby one day soon in our relationship?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 With men you need to be direct. Tell him what you're thinking, he wont be able to read your "liking" on facebook as anything other than you liking something on facebook. You have to be upfront and tell it to him like it is. You're not the only one who hasn't had a baby yet. Each to their own, and everything in due time. Just talk to your man and say what you've been thinking about, and what he thinks around it, if he can see himself having children some time in the future, maybe in 3-4 years time (if thats' what you want).
A
female
reader, tb0721 +, writes (14 October 2011):
 You definately need to have a serious talk with him before deciding. Not one of those beat around the bush conversations where its implied or hinted. You need to be straight forward. The questions to ask on the first answer to your question are all great questions as it is a lot of work. I just had baby number 2 who is now almost 3 months and my first is 2 yrs old. financially, physically, emotionally they are a handful but if you are ready it is totally worth it. Figure out if you do who will be waking up at nights regardless of how tired you are because you will get tired. It can cause alot of stress and arguments with each other if you decide to have a baby and dont communicate as much as possible. If you are still enjoying that time alone and feel that is an important part of your life maybe a baby isnt in the agenda yet because alone time will be virtually zero for a while and so will the nights out. Being nervous about if you will be a good mom or not is normal. Theres no magical way to tell and there will be moments you feel you shouldve done something different. When I was pregnant with my 2nd I went through all those emotions again and I already had a child but hes two and I wasnt sure I knew how to care for an infant again. Lean on family for answers to questions or friends if they have kids if you do decide to have a baby. Although what worked for them may not for you, its good to utilize the resources. A baby is truly one of the best blessings a female can receive but you and your boyfriend have to both be on the same page and emotionally and financially ready. The baby will need stability. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): I would bring it up to him as long as you have all the odds and ends figured out. Do you have a steady job? Does he? Are you both financially stable? Do you own a house or place of your own? Can you afford to take care of a third person in your household? Does he have the maturity and the desire to go in it with you? Will he be a good provider? Are you both married? Do you want to be?
There are a lot of things you need to think about and sort out before you consider having a child. You have got to be prepared for it. If you are not, then having a baby is not going to be as pleasant as you think. In fact it could end up becoming a miserable situation for you, for him and for the baby.
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