A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is there anyone out there who is now in a successful marriage/long-term relationship but started out on the fence about that person?My partner and I have a child together. We are both on the fence about each other. I think he is more unsure than me.Why?In a nutshell, he considers me too emotional which makes him unsure. I am wondering whether I can be with a man who is not around much because of his out of town job, part of what leads to me be emotional because my needs aren't being met. I am considering moving to a closer town so he can see his child and myself more. That means leaving my friends and family behind. Part of me says, I'll give it a shot with hopes that we can fall back in love. The other part of me doesn't want to give into the situation when I sometimes feel it's his way or the highway. I am very nervous about giving too much to a relationship that doesn't currently meet my needs. He's hardly around and he's not terribly emotionally available anymore either.I'm thinking about the long haul and whether I can work it out with my son's father and be happy. We had a good relationship when we first met, the first few months, when he was around all the time. When he started going away it's as though it uncovered a lot my insecurities. It's been a couple years like that. I've worked through a lot of stuff and I do my best to stay cool with the situation for periods of time - and then relapse. When I don't see him for weeks at a time and then he's only around for a day or two, I don't know how I'm expected to be happy. I feel like he expects me to go with the flow with no idea if I'll find the security and companionship I'm looking for.It doesn't sound like he'll be changing jobs anytime soon, if ever, so either I have to move closer to make it work or break it off so I can find a relationship that meets my needs and accepts who I am (overly emotional, I guess).Maybe I need to find a man who is isn't always unsure about how he feels about me to make it in the long haul? Or are there situations like this that have led to a good outcome because they find a common ground?
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