A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl in my program on a week long field trip last month. I met her formally the first night when a few of us went to watch the movie but really hit it off with her the 2nd night at a bar with everyone on the trip. We broke away to another table with my friend and another girl who he has since hooked up with. We were both drunk, not so much that it was messy and we had a really great conversation. She told me some really personal things that I wouldn't tell someone the first time I met them and at one point she told us that she wanted to go back to the hotel room to make another drink (hotel was next to the bar) and i got the feeling that she wanted me to come with, at least I think. I didn't go because I was still seeing my ex gf and I didn't want to cheat.Nothing really happened the rest of the trip as people kind of did their own thing with friends. Since we got back she hasn't come to class much and the few times that I have seen her, I feel alot of tension. I had one good chance to talk to her again when we had a midterm and the prof decided to lecture for an hour beforehand. We both got to class a litle late and she sat next to me because there were few seats left. When I tried to talk to her she seemed to be avoiding me and she was getting alot of messages on her phone. When we finally looked at each other before the test started she looked like she had been crying, it really threw me off and I only talked to her for a few seconds about the test.I'm assuming there is a bf/ex-bf that she never told me about and she was having troubles with. She doesn't have facebook so I cant find out that way. I have since broken up with my ex, not because of girl A, it was just somehting that had been coming anyway. I've met other girls since but I haven't crushed on one girl like this in the longest time. I really want to talk to her again and get her out to find out more about her. From what I can tell she is also very quiet and reserved. I just want to know how I should proceed now that chances seem so few or if I blew my one chance?Sorry for making this so long I always tend to make things more complicated then they need to be.
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female
reader, BunnyAce  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 I had a guy crushing on me in a college class. I had no idea until he emailed me and asked me out to a baseball game. I didn't think it was creepy at all and was flattered that he went to find my email through the school system instead of putting me on the spot by bluntly asking for my number. I then and still do have a boyfriend, so I ended up sending a kind email back letting him know that I was flattered but was seeing someone. He responded well and we've been fine since. No awkward moments and we r still able to talk in class.
So I suggest finding her email on the colleges web page. When people can communicate through email they r able to communicate truthfully and thoughtfully. No quick rash decisions. And when you email just be a gentleman and say something along the lines that you enjoyed your past convo with her and was wondering if she would be interested in getting some coffee with u sometime or anything she'd b up for.
No stress, casual, and friendly!
Good luck.
And p.s. as a side note, good job not cheating before, just try to not put urself in a situation where cheating can arize ;)
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