A
female
 ,
*Angeliquex
writes:Hey! Well, I've got a bit of a problem. See, I have been friends with a guy for a long time, and i mean LONG, almost into a decade. We know each other inside-out. It was only last Tuesday when we decided to start dating but already I am having serious doubts.I tell him I love him, because I did when we were friends. I still do, so much. When I'm with him I love that we're dating, but when I'm sitting alone in my room I just think to myself, "Why are you with this guy? You don't even fancy him!"I actually had a guy that I have liked for more than a year start signalling that he might be interested.This guy I'm dating says he will not leave me without a fight, and I'm going to have to "erase him out of my life completely" if want to split up with him. I'm not sure what to do, as in previous relationships I usually break up with them when they act like this, because the "i will never let go of you" attitude makes me feel quite claustriphobic and I just want OUT. I think I'm scared of commitment.Anyway, I'm mad over this other lad who I've liked for more than a year and I can't get him off my mind. We flirt endlessly. Do I end it with my friend, and throw away all our years of friendship, or stand by him until he gets bored and ends it(if ever) ?Help me soon please!
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female
reader, xAngeliquex +, writes (6 September 2006):
xAngeliquex is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your advice guys, I think I may have to cut him loose. As you said BabyGirl, it takes courage but I suppose it's for his own sake aswell as mine. Just got off the phone with him I should've told him then! Anyway I'll find time, thanks.xx
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 It appears that your friendship wasn't as strong as you lead yourself to believe. You cannot test the strength of your friendship by continuing the status quo. Listen to your inner voice - what does it tell you about your guy's behaviour?
I will share two personal experiences that I hope will help you determine your course of action.
I went through a similar experience when I was a teenager. As it turned out, our friendship did not stand the test of time. We met in grade 5, crushed on each other for a few years, I moved away in grade 8 and we lost touch until grade 11. In grade 11 we gave it a go as a couple. It didn't feel right from the start, and some weeks later I ended it. Our friendship failed a few years later. Twenty years have passed and we haven't been in touch - and I have tried.
In my first year of university I met a girl who instantly connected with me. The feeling was mutual, and it was really intense. We had a brief romantic relationship but that part did not work out. Over the next year we were somewhat distant with each other but came to realize that the connection was still there and very strong. Twenty years have passed and we still love each other - not as lovers but as kindred spirits. We will be friends for life.
In closing, don't ignore your inner voice - it won't steer you wrong. Good luck and take care.
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