A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So last weekend me and my girlfriend of over 2 1/2 years finally decided to get a little sexual (fingering, handjob.) I know we are kind of old for these acts, but they were still exciting and pleasurable. The problem is my girlfriend is a super conservative girl and although we did this twice she comes to me today and tells me about how she feels that she is letting down her parents and God. I really want her to understand that she isn't (or if she is tell me and I'll try and get over it.) But the real problem is that she is very needy of me and it seems that she is always stressed and I get the bad end of this. Until we started our "adventure" I had been feeling rather depressed and afterward it was as if all depression was gone. I know she is the cause of most of this depression and I know she doesn't mean to or try to. I really need help here, is there anything I can say or do to convince her that this is not so bad or can anyone help me with getting over this? I know it's silly, but I really do need help. Also please don't tell me to find someone else. That is absolutely not even an option.Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): hey bud!
ur passage sang to me lol not average lavigne style but more like shakira ;p...
I was with a religious gf for 5.5 years. Conservative, strict, and her parents were very strict. I sat her down and created boundaries and aksed her what was comfortable and was not. A lot of men woulda said get the hell out based on her responses, but because I was with her and cared for her and all that crap lol I gave her my respect. Btw ur not too old to be gettin a HJ, I didnt get my first one til I was 18!!!!
Talk with her thats key. Create boundaries n compromise and hopefully things turn out well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Reassure her that being sexual with a steady, reliable partner is not a bad thing, but you understand her concerns. Tell her you love her and want to be able to express it further but if she isn't ready, you're prepared to wait.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 October 2010):
you need to respect her wishes. she's not ready to be sexual with you, and forcing the issue will push her away. give her time
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): You aren't going to change her mind; only she can do that. Don't make her feel guilty or pressure her into doing something she clearly isn't ready for.
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